New Years Resolutions

Here we go again!

I normally don’t bother writing a list of resolutions as they are broken within minutes of starting the New Year, but I wrote them anyway, just for the fun of breaking rules and feeling like a young rebel again (It’s the young part that you can never get back).

Beginning with the obvious most common resolutions:-

1. Drink less – NEVER!

2. Quit Smoking – Never started?

3. Exercise more - I live in a two story house, so running up and down stairs countless times a day should cover that one. Plus we don’t own a car so have to walk everywhere!

4. Eat healthier – Order extra peppers and pineapple on my Pizza Hut pizzas from now.

5. Win the lottery – I have looked this up, and the odds of actually selecting the exact numbers to win the lottery are 1 in 13983816.00 so I will now let my 5 year old daughter choose the numbers - if the odds are that low it’s not going to make any difference who selects them is it?

6. Travel the World – When I win the lottery, so I’ll have to settle for Chinese and Indian Take-Away, French bread, German Beer and Aussie & Kiwi Wine and visual aids by Google Earth.

7. Write a book – “A BOOK” there…that was easy J

8. Get over 80% in my courses at College - There’s no cheating my way out of this one, so I’m going to have to get my head into the books and study hard! This leads me on nicely to.

9. Reading more – Moving to the UK has already started a healthy addiction to newspapers. But also studying to be a teacher has quadrupled my reading, as I currently have 9 books on the go!*

10. Keep in contact with friends and family more often – I know I promised this one last year and ended up contacting family in New Zealand maybe twice in the whole year, which is very poor on my behalf. But I will try and make a better effort this year.

*Now you know why I like to play mindless games like slingshot Santa and Elf Toss once in a while.

Spinnaker Tower

A festive Spinnaker Tower in Portsmouth December 2007

As you can see I’m not the professional photographer I would like to think I am, but it’s the best I could get with shuddering arms and frost bitten hands!

Spinnaker Tower currently holds top spot on my list of magnificent man made structures, I’ve seen in person. I am not very well travelled, so to some this probably seems quite narrow minded. But hope to travel the world some time soon, although don’t think it will ever drop off my top ten list anyway.

There’s something about this structure that comforts me – I don’t know how to explain it, but whenever I catch a glimpse of her (Of course it has to be a woman – it’s a psychological thing) over the tops of little British brick houses, it fills me with happiness. I’ve even caught myself smiling, after seeing her, when rounding a corner of a building heading to college one day. So here’s to the people behind the design, architecture and construction of a beautiful piece of work…Cheers!

Father Christmas

Who ate my damn pies!!

Everyone knows Father Christmas doesn’t exist! It’s all just a ploy to get children to behave for a month so that parents can have a bit of peace. But they pay for this misconception, as they then have to listen to the children’s demands for presents from this fictional character, which leads to painful blows to the bank account or worse still their moaning and whinging when they don’t get what they asked Santa for, even though they were good!

Either way we can’t win, but continue this canard every year until a child is old enough to join in the deception on younger siblings and later children of their own.

We go through the same fraudulent actions every year, write a letter to Santa and place it on the mantelpiece, then leave a mince pie and alcoholic beverage on the kitchen table. After sending the children to bed and telling them “They have to go to sleep straight away or Santa won’t come!” do we go downstairs and waste some time watching television. Once sure they are asleep we replace their letters with a forged letter from the myth himself ‘Father Christmas’, fill the stockings with the presents hidden in the cupboard, while drinking the rum and eating the mince pie left out, making sure to leave a few crumbs on the plate for effect.

Have you ever wondered though…What if we are making a mistake? What if Father Christmas IS real? It might explain why parents never get any presents from him? Not only is it bloody freezing outside, it’s late and he’s tired, so coming to a house where the parents have devoured his treats is going to piss him off just a little. We are probably lucky he is such a jolly old sole and doesn’t bother coming up to your room, waking you up and telling you what thoughtless shits you are! So spare a thought for Jolly old Saint Nicholas

I am of course going to eat the mince pie and drink the conveniently replaced Strongbow, but I’ll be sure to leave a note on the table telling Santa where he can find some more if he shows up.

Christmas Tree

I prefer a simple Christmas tree – One that won’t cause fits with its many flashing lights!

The best part about Christmas is not the presents, the cakes and sweets (you don’t feel guilty about eating as you’ve been dieting all year), the mulled wine and other alcoholic beverages, the holiday and not having to go to work for 2 weeks – It’s when you decorate your Christmas tree - If you have a beautiful Christmas tree…Christmas will be especially beautiful…

…Yeah of course I’m bullshitting; Christmas is all about the rum filled cake, boxes of chocolates, presents, holiday and easy flowing alcohol!! It wouldn’t be Christmas otherwise (although apart from the holiday that combination could be mistaken for my birthday?)

I do like a nice tree though and am especially proud of myself for having managed to get the one we have, with decorations for only £30! Decorating was a minor nightmare as the baubles didn’t have strings and I had to tie them all on, while the girls put them on the tree and pestered me to put the strings on faster! While fumbling with cotton and cursing myself for not reading the small print when purchasing them I remembered an email I received from a friend entitled “Extreme Christmas Tree Decorating”

Basically you have one bare Christmas tree and a canon loaded with tinsel, baubles and a star…I think you get the idea from there. (I couldn’t get the link to show on here so you could have a go, so here’s something festive I found some time ago entitled “Slingshot Santa” http://www.fetchfido.co.uk/games/slingshot_santa/slingshot_santa.htm - I’ve had 200m let me know if you do better!)*

There are of course other less destructive tree decorating methods. I personally like this one and will be giving it serious consideration for next year, although may need some help to drink and collect up that many bottles!

*You probably think I do nothing but play games and Rubik’s cubes by now, but I assure you I am still studying and looking after the kids, I just like mindless entertainment to stop my brain from overloading every now and again!

School Placement

I have decided to put the last two weeks of my school placement into one poetic blog, although don’t expect beautiful, inspirational poetry from me – I can only do the stuff that rhymes, and even that is questionable at times

I am so awash with excitement I am finding it hard to put the whole experience into words, but here goes…

Week 1

The alarm goes off, I leap from bed.
“Come on girls, hurry up” I said
Its school today, I’ve got to go
But still the girls eat their coco pops slow!
Soon we’re off, and out the door,
Becky can’t keep up anymore,
On the pram, she’s pleased to rest,
My muscles though, curse the test,

Once dropped off, I skip and hop,
All the way to the bus stop,
Just in time phew! Wipe my brow,
Just can’t wait to get there now,
Enter the door, nerves set in,
But pass it off with a big grin,
Down to class, to find the teacher,
A friendly welcome, I’m pleased to met her,

Just enough time to talk,
Before kids arrive, in they walk,
Most are stunned to see me here,
I hope they do not sense my fear,
A year six class, of ten year olds,
I hug the radiator, though I’m not cold,
Quiet is ordered, to introduce me,
I feel on show, for all to see,

They take it well, and class begins,
I shake off stares, with nervous grins,
Reading first, I’m quite amazed,
At how well they deliver each page,
Assembly next, line at the door,
Walk together, down corridors,
Classes stay back and teachers leave,
A bit more time for me to breathe,

Not long though, and back they parade,
After the school rock ‘n’ roll band played,
They’re quite excitable after that,
But go quiet when they hear “Math”,
Fractions into percentages,
Oh god I think, can I remember this?
Thankfully though it comes flooding in,
And help children that are struggling,

Soon its lunch, hasn’t time flown,
Then I realize I haven’t brought my own,
So off I pop to the shops,
For a sandwich, and some chocs,
A cup of tea I get real soon,
As I enter into the staff room,
Again more stares, and nervous grins,
To be invisible now I’d give anything,

Back to class, at a trot,
What was next, I have forgot,
Wood and glue spread across the desks,
Reminds me quickly of bridge building tests,
Some grand designs and audacious drawings,
Soon cause despair when it comes to sawing,
Traffic lights are quickly found,
But the structure’s not off the ground!

Time is up, clean and put away,
Some bridges finished, others in disarray,
Some children have gluey hair,
Others sticky tape on chairs,
They grab their coats and wave goodbye,
The chaos over and I’ve survived,
So after thanks for a great time,
I go home happy and have a wine.

Week 2

The alarm goes off, I leap from bed.
“Come on girls, hurry up” I said
Another day at school today,
But still they moan and yawn away,
We’re off again and out the gate,
And not surprising Becky flakes,
On the pram, she gets again,
My muscles ache from last week’s pain!

The bus is late today, a shame,
My frantic running was in vain,
But off to school I go at last,
I can’t wait now to see the class,
No nerves this time, I’m keen and bold,
Its Christmas activities, I’ve been told,
The school split into fourteen groups,
And set off around the school like troops,

Santa puppets, carol singing,
That is just the beginning
Toy trains, sleighs, drama class,
Plastic windows, stained glass,
Christmas cards and poetry,
More hand puppets look like trees,
Decorations glitter and curl,
Food at Christmas around the world,

So much to do, the day goes fast,
Before I know it’s the end of class,
Thanks again I manage to squeak,
Roll on Wednesday next week!

How to solve a Rubik’s Cube

I couldn’t stop myself from buying one of these when I spotted it in the shops for only £2.99!

Like a child at Christmas I tore it from it's wrapping and began twisting and turning. It has been 3 months now and I still haven't solved the damn thing (I almost wish I hadn’t touched it now!), so have turned to the internet for some help, which brought up this…

Instructions

Pieces: There are three types of pieces on the cube: Centre pieces are located in the centre of each face. Corner pieces have three colours and are located at the corners of the cube. Edge pieces have two colours and are located between the corner pieces.
Faces: There are six faces on the cube. They are defined by the colour of their centres. For example, the face with the red centre is called the 'red face.' The faces also have names based on how you hold the cube: * F (Front) looks at you.* B (Back) looks away from you.* U (Upper) looks at the ceiling.* D (Down) looks at the floor.* R (Right) looks to your right.* L (Left) looks to your left.
Rotating the faces: Note in the following examples that an apostrophe (') means turn the face counter-clockwise. If there is no apostrophe, turn it clockwise. A 2 after the face name (e.g. D2) means to turn the face 180 degrees. It is important to turn the face clockwise or counter-clockwise as if you were looking directly at it. * F = Front face clockwise, 90 degrees* B' = Back face counter-clockwise, 90 degrees * D2 = Down face, 180 degrees
Piece/Square Positions: Sometimes the instructions will refer to a specific piece or square on the cube. The notation is the same, so whether we are talking about a piece or a square needs to be taken from context. Some examples of piece positions:* UFR = the corner piece between the Upper, Front, and Right faces * BD = the edge piece that lies between the Back and Down facesSome examples of square positions:* LFD = the square on the Left Face that is near the Front and Down faces* DB = the square on the Down Face that is near the Back faceEnough talk. Let's get started. Steps
Form a plus sign: Turn the cube so the white centre is on the U face, it will stay this way until Step 5. The goal is to put the white edge pieces around the white centre, so it forms a 'plus sign' on the white face. There are so many ways for the cube to be scrambled that it's nearly impossible to write detailed instructions. Here are some hints instead: Find a white edge first, and then find a way to get it to the top. Don't just rotate faces randomly and hope for it to happen. White edges in the middle layer can be brought to the top in one 90-degree rotation. Just make sure it doesn't take the place of a white edge already in place. White edges on the D face can be brought to the top in one 180-degree rotation. Rotate the D face until the edge piece is directly under an empty edge slot in the U face. Keep white on the U face. This is the most common mistake on this and subsequent steps. Don't give up on step 1! Extend the plus sign to the middle layer centres: Rotate the U face until two of the white edge pieces (two arms of the cross) line up with the colours of the centres in the middle layer. Two should be correct, two should be incorrect. If they are all correct, move on to Step 3. Turn the whole cube so one of the incorrect edges is on the front face, and then apply F2. One white edge should now be on the D face (look at it). Note the other colour of that white edge; this colour is X (it could be red, green, orange, or blue). Now rotate the D face until the X part of the edge piece is directly beneath the X centre; then rotate the X face 180 degrees. Now the white/X edge should have returned to the U face and another edge piece should be on the D face (look at it). The edge piece should have white on the bottom, then the colour connected to it is called colour Y. Now rotate the D face until the Y edge piece is directly beneath the Y centre, and then rotate the Y face 180 degrees. You should now have a white plus sign on the top, and all the edge pieces are above centres of the same colour. Don't forget to keep white on the U face. Complete the top layer: Find a corner piece on the bottom layer that has white in it. Note the three colours of the corner piece. They should be white, then two other colours, colours X and Y. Now rotate the D face until the white/X/Y corner piece is between the X and Y centre pieces (note that we move it between the X and Y centres because the colours of the piece are X and Y). Turn the cube so the white/X/Y corner piece is in the DFR position. From here there are three possibilities for the corner piece: The white square is in the FRD position, apply F D F'. The white square is in the RFD position, apply R' D' R. The white square is in the DFR position, apply F D2 F' D' F D F'. Repeat 4x. If a white corner happens to be in the U face, turn the cube so the corner is in the UFR position, then apply F D F'. Now it is in the D face so you can put it in using the combinations above. After you have put in all four corners, the first layer of the cube should be complete and the colours should match up with the middle layer centres. Complete the middle layer: Find an edge piece in the D face that does NOT have yellow in it. Look at the square on this edge piece that is on the D face; this is colour X. Note the other colour of the edge piece and label it colour Y. Turn the cube so the X face is the F face. Rotate the D face until the edge piece is in the DB position. From here there are two possibilities: If colour Y matches the centre of the R face, apply F D F' D' R' D' R. If colour Y matches the centre of the L face, apply F' D' F D L D L'. If an edge is in the right place but flip-flopped, turn the cube so the edge piece is in the FR position while still keeping the white face on top; apply F D F' D' R' D' R (this is the same as the first possibility above). Now you can put it in using the above combinations. Repeat this step until the top two layers look completely restored. Make a plus sign on the yellow face: First, turn the cube over so yellow is on the U face; it will stay this way until the cube is solved. Note the number of yellow edges on the U face. From here there are four possibilities: Two opposite edges. Rotate the U face until the two edges are in the UL and UR positions, making a horizontal line. Apply B L U L' U' B'. Two adjacent edges. Rotate the U face until the two edges are in the UR and UF positions, making an arrow that points to the back-left. Apply B U L U' L' B'. No edges. Apply one of the above combinations to kick two edges to the top, and then use the other combination to put the other two edges in place. Four edges. You're done. Go to the next step. At the end of this step, you should have a yellow plus sign, just like the white one made in the first step. Complete the yellow face: For this step, blue is going to be your front face. A finished corner is one with yellow already on the U face; unfinished is one without yellow on the U face. Rotate the U face until an unfinished corner comes to the UFR position. There are two possibilities for the corner: It needs to be rotated clockwise (yellow is on the F face), apply F D F' D' F D F' D'. It needs to be rotated counter-clockwise (yellow is on the right side), apply D F D' F' D F D' F'. After you've corrected one corner, the cube is going to look screwed up, but this is okay. It'll fix itself. Keeping blue as your front face, rotate the U face to bring another unfinished corner to the UFR position, then repeat as many times as necessary. After this step is over, the entire yellow face will be finished. Position the remaining edge pieces: Rotate the U face until exactly one edge piece matches the colour of the centre it touches. (If this is not possible, apply R2 D' R' L F2 L' R U2 D R2 and try again. Note that this is the same combination as below.) Turn the cube so this matching edge is on the left face. Now make sure the front edge matches the right centre. If it doesn't, then apply U2 and turn the whole cube counter-clockwise 90 degrees. Double check that the left edge matches the left centre and the front edge matches the right centre. Apply R2 D' R' L F2 L' R U2 D R2. At this point, the cube should be finished except for the corners. Complete the cube: Usually there is already one corner in the correct spot If there are no correct corners, apply the below combination randomly then you should have one correct corner. Turn the cube so this correct corner is in the UFR position. Apply L2 B2 L' F' L B2 L' F L' . This combination may need to be applied twice. You're done. Throw a party.

OR…Get a knife, pick off coloured squares and glue them back on in order!

Christmas Carol Service

Yesterday we attended the Alverstoke Infant School Christmas Carol Service at St Mary’s church. After finding a small pew on the north side of the church we sat down and waited for the service to begin. By the third song I realised we hadn’t chosen the best seat in the house, as we only just managed to see Kate singing, after standing on tiptoes, and pushing right up against the wall to catch glimpses of her behind a column in the middle of the church! I raised an arm every time she looked our way and eventually she spotted us. So all was well…you don’t know the ear bashing I would have got from her if she thought we hadn’t come!

Most of the songs were preformed by the children, but there were a few everyone was asked to join in to sing. Not being the most confident singer I tend to mime or sing very quietly at this stage. And it’s a good job too as mine ended up like this;

Oh Come All Ye Faithful - A revised version for parents at a Christmas Carol Service

Oh come all ye faithful
Joyful and triumphhhhh….(Evil glare at child messing around while singing through teeth)..ant!

Oh come ye, oh come ye, just…sit…down! (In a stern whisper)…ethlethem

Come and be hold…it right there (Still trying to whisper) him
Born the King of Angels

Oh come let us adore him
Oh come back here and sit down
Oh come back here NOW!...him
Christ the Lord

At this stage you drop the leaflet, grab child now wandering off in the aisle, and sit them back down on pew, while muttering and pointing finger at them.
Hastily grabbing the leaflet that has now fallen to the floor you try and catch up with the choir that has already begun the second verse.

…of Angels (making sure not to catch eye contact with children on this word)
Sing in exultat…stop it!
Sing all ye…don’t you dare get down…of Heaven above
Glory to God
In the high…EST (Another evil glare at child and gruff voice)
Oh come let us adore him
Oh come back here by Jesus (now thinking oops should have rephrased that)
Oh…will you just down and be quiet for a minute
Christ the Lord.

Mind of a Goldfish

Whenever I venture into the depths of Gosport, I find myself looking around for houses to let, and inadvertently houses for sale.

We are renting a two bedroom house and, as you can imagine, with three children it’s getting a bit tight. So we need to find a three bedroom (at least) house, to let at preferably the same rate, is near the schools we have now got the children settled into and not too far from the ferry and access to Cosham …a lot of factors to consider, which is why its proving a difficult task*

I, like many people am a daydreamer at times…well a lot of the time in my case! One of my regular daydreams involves house restoration, new builds, barn conversions, interior decoration; landscaping the list goes on. I sit at home pretending to be an architect with my £9.99 copy of 3D Virtual Home Designer, while dreaming about owning the finest home, full of the top gadgets and furnishings**, but alas it is just that…a dream. So I spend a little more time on my virtual tour around my virtual home, asking my virtual children sitting at the virtual table to finish their virtual supper, so I can put the virtual dishes in the virtual dishwasher.

I’ll stop digressing and move on…On my walks I pass one particular house for sale. It’s not a perfect house by far, but my mind still begins running through the check list of pros and cons:

Pro - Location is great for school,
Con - Busy Street outside the front door,
Pro - Many convenience stores nearby,
Con – It’s in heart of Gosport, which is a nightmare to drive into during peaks times of the day.

Walking past houses takes 30 seconds, so I’m already half way up the street by the time I resurface from this daydream debate. At this point I realise I have done this before, and not just once. I’m like a goldfish, forgetting that I have had this very same argument with myself repeatedly! Of course I laugh it off and promise myself I won’t do it again. A little while later I’m walking back down that street and guess what…


* Ironically as I write this I am listening to music and the Bee Gees “Tragedy” has begun playing…the words “Tragedy” and “You’re going no where” being constantly repeated and seemingly emphasised!

**I’m also an avid Grand Designs viewer, which feeds my hunger for a fantastic house! Kevin McLeod you have a lot to answer for!!

Caught up

So that’s about us all caught up on my college experience so far. Just the school placement experience to go - Coming soon!

Week 10

These weren't mine because they are too big!

This is my last lesson at college this year, as we are all attending our school placements for the last four weeks before the end of term, which I should add I’m am very excited about!

Today we studied classroom observation skills, since that is what we will be doing from now. What should be looking out for and how we will relate this to our earlier knowledge of Piaget and other theorists.

Towards the end of the lesson the Tutor stressed that the Journal would be our own, so we have the freedom to create whatever we wished, although pointed out she will know who have and haven’t put the effort into it!

This takes me back to my GCSE project in Agriculture…I started well, planning to compare the difference between red and green cabbage and parsnips and carrots. The idea was to see how different growing techniques would affect their development. Unfortunately the enthusiasm faded, when the garden was full of tree roots and rocks and the fact that not even grass would grow smashed any hopes of growing vegetables here! I think I ended up with 1-3cm long carrots and parsnips and absolutely no cabbages! Sufficed to say my data collection and statistics were slim, leaving me with a mere five paged journal of pictures and a few descriptions of the vegetables (which were stolen from a gardening book!) It was a poor effort and the teacher commented as much at the time.

So with that in mind – I’ll have to pull my socks up this time!

Week 9

Ok class pay attention!

The lesson itself is a blue this week, and I only have a small pile of handouts littering my desk to show that we were actually taught something.

I put this amnesia down to the fact I had to do my presentation today…

Presentation

My presentation is a language game – I have drawn a shape onto cards, (basically a square, a circle, an Isosceles triangle and various others). I want one person to describe the shape on the card to their partner without saying its true name. Their partner has to draw the shape from the description, recognise it and spell the its name correctly Easy you may thing, but this game is designed for 9 year old children, whose language hasn’t developed to the stage of adults and is supposed to enhance the way they use language – Well that’s what I read anyway.

Having waiting four weeks to test it I was fully prepared for the ordeal (in fact I had been waiting so long I had almost forgot what I’d prepared!). For once I wasn’t nervous as I gathered my paperwork and walked to the front of the class. Although my legs were telling a different story, since they suddenly felt like a pneumatic drill trying to break through the floor boards into the room below. Disguising this from the class by stepping from one foot to the other worked for a while, but it moved to my hands and my writing became a squiggly mess on the white board, thankfully no one noticed as it was still reasonably legible.

I managed to compose the shuddering that was now beginning to take over my body, took one deep breath and turned to the class.

“Hello I’m Mrs Loveridge and today we’ll be playing a linguistic game”

“This game was first tested on children of West Indian origin by Wight in 1979 and is suppose to encourage and enhance the use of language skills”

“Firstly I would like everyone to pair up and then I will explain how the game works and the rules”

“I have here in my hand some cards, on the back of these cards are shapes. I want one person from each pair to take one of these cards, look at it without showing their partner, and then describe the shape on the card to them without actually saying it’s name or using visual aids, such as drawing invisible shapes in the air – Then I want that person to write the name of the shape they have just drawn onto their page”

“Are there any questions” “No…right away you go”

Nerves had all but gone by this stage. The shuddering was under control, except for my big toe that was still having a little dance in my shoes.

I walked around the class to shake the last of the nerves off, while checking that no one was cheating and of course to see how they were coping with the task, as expected surprisingly well, but they are mature students after all, so made my way back to the front of the class.

“OK…Is everyone done?” “How did we do?” “Good…Right, You get a point if you drew the shape that is shown on your partner’s card and they get a point for having described it well enough for you to draw correctly. You also get a point for recognising the shape and writing its name and 1 last point for spelling the name correctly”

“Right I’ll take those cards back and give them a shuffle”

“Now we’ll swap so everyone has the chance to get four points, so if the other person from each pair would like to collect a card…when you are ready you can start”

Again I walked around the room – that big toe wasn’t going to give up easily! The class knew what they were doing now so were flying along…maybe I should have asked them to pretend they were 9 year olds - That would have made it interesting? One or two did question the fact that a 9 year old wouldn’t know what an isosceles triangle was. Although I don’t know for sure, I think they will be surprised to know they do actually! As they were finishing up I headed to the front of the class again.

“OK…all done? “Right how did we do…Tally up your scores”

“So who got 4 points?” “Well done and 3 points?” “Good…did anyone get lower than 2 points…excellent – You are all smarter than a 9 year old” LOL

“I’ve got some handouts of the shapes you have just drawn and a few others for some information on the shapes”

“Well thank you for playing and I hope you enjoyed it”

Everyone applauded as we did for the others a few weeks ago, while I quickly returned to my seat. The tutor asked the class for feedback on the presentation…it was surprisingly good! Phew thank goodness it’s over.

You’re probably thinking if she’s such a nervous person giving presentations why on earth does she want to be a teacher? Well for a start it’s different when you are giving a presentation to adults, they are worse than children for criticism, as you can sense the sarcastic tone in their voices. Children are by no means little angels, but they haven’t had as long to work on their sarcasm.* The other problem is not having the knowledge of what I’m teaching – I’m sure if I knew what I was talking about I would be a lot more comfortable in front of a class.

*I recall a piece on Russell Brands, Ponderland television show about how mature children thought they were. One girl was having an argument with her mum about not getting a job and how she needs to be sensible about her choices in life. The girls replied, I am sensible, I’m not like dead yet.

Week 8

A strange morning for me as I’m not my usual energetic self…it is Wednesday after all? My body feels like a piece of metal and the bed is now a huge magnet pulling me down. My eyelids are dragging two lumps of invisible lead, while trying to expose my, sore and hazy, eyeballs to the sunlit filled room. I can barely muster the energy to even reach across ½ a meter and stop the alarm that has been whining away for the last three minutes…what’s wrong with me?!

Eventually the hamster began winding that wheel in my brain and it all came flooding back…I’m not going to school today, even if I wanted to! After a heavy emotional sigh I dragged myself from the pull of the bed and went to check the little spew fountain this morning (If you have been reading in previous posts you will recall the fountain of yuck – my daughter caught a spewing bug and was projectile vomiting all over the house last night!), she was as pale as ever, so it’s confirmed, absolutely no school today, another heavy sigh and I shuffled my feet back to the room to get dressed.

The problem with having sick children or being sick yourself is not just the fact you have a house that smells like spew, you can’t do anything, and you can’t go to school, but you also can’t lay-in in the morning. As much as I would have loved to crawl back into my magnetic bunk, I had to get up and make the numerous phone calls to inform folk we would not be going anywhere today.

While the girls sat tucked up on the sofa watching television my thoughts were with my class, as I still haven’t done my presentation and they will all be finishing there’s today. We didn’t get to present them last week as we had too many debates about boys underachieving and winding up the 4 boys in our class, so ended running out of time.

Maybe I’ll get the teddies out for another practice before next week?

Week 7

Damn...forgot my book bag!

Oddly enough I’m chomping at the bit* to get back to class this week. Missing a week is like torture for me (god I’m sad – but hey at least i'm keen!). I’m not even worried that I have to give my presentation. I’m fully prepared since I have been practising on the girls teddies over the holidays, one got detention, and the rest a pat on the back for doing well. (I suppose at this point you think I have gone completely mad, but bare with me I’ll come sane again soon).

So after kicking off from the stalls and racing to school I sat down to a lesson on Gender differences in education and the underachievement of boys. Lets face it boys, girls are beating your arses at school these days! So stop styling your hair, rearranging your jewellery and get past the metrasexual urges, start studying to get those grades up again! (Obviously this is my own personal thoughts as to why boys are underachieving and there are of course many other factors contributions towards it)

After revelling in fellow female success, we moved onto a questionnaire about our own experiences at primary and secondary school. We were asked if boys and girls were separated in any classes throughout our schooling…as far as I can remember this was a huge no for me, but found the rest of the girls around my table had experienced some form of separation during Maths and in particular physical education. For some reason they had rather sexist teachers, who would absolutely not let girls play football and basketball and boys could not play netball and hockey. I recall the boys in our school never volunteering to play netball, as they were all trying to be macho, which looking back now is laughable as they were all weeds! But they were never stopped if they wanted to

Another interesting question that cropped up was what types of games we used to play at Primary school and did boys and girls mix? A lot of girls wrote kiss chase, so I suppose the boys did play although probably not voluntarily. My childhood games were of course British bull dog! - You must remember that one? – I don’t know any kids that hasn’t played that game at school…excluding possibly children now days since teachers believe it’s too rough, but what’s a bloody nose and a few bruises to the entertainment of the whole school. It was of course a game of pure brawn and weeds didn’t fair off so well, which is probably why we were so keen to make it to the top class!**

And finally the lesson ended with the hidden curriculum, which was quite a shock to some of us as we were still trying to work out what was on the unhidden curriculum? I’ve narrowed it down to Science, English, Maths, Geography, History, Art, Music, DT, IT, PE and some sort of foreign language, which I believe up here is French and/or German so my limited Spanish is all but useless,.

*So is it chomping or champing at the bit? I remember having a debate with someone about this and don’t recall a conclusion, if there was one? We may have both given in to each others stubbornness by saying we were both correct?

**A surprising thought that just occurred was my glasses never broke while playing this game; maybe my parents had some merit in making me wear unbreakable plastic blocks?

Week 6

As mentioned is a half term, so everyone is on a weeks holiday…sigh! :-(

Week 5

Even though I reached the bus station 15 minutes before my bus was due, I still ended up waiting 30 minutes before departing for Cosham, and consequently ended up being 10 minutes late for college. To make matters worse, when I reached the hidden crèche classroom it was empty, although further investigation revealed a note on the white board saying “We have moved to H block room 52”…great!

I have been to H Block before (sounds like a prison doesn’t it?), as this is where I had my first encounter with the “Spagnets”. It’s only just across the path, but room 52 is situated at the top of this 4 story building, that appears to have been built before humans got lazy and lifts were invented, as it only harbours a half meter squared dumbwaiter and I’m confident it’s not worth trying to squeeze in there!

Stumbling through the door and gasping for breath I was now 20 minutes late for class. Fortunately…so was the tutor, as she strolled in two minutes later. While she got organised she asked the class to state “What motivates us in the mornings?” since this would lead nicely into the lesson on Motivation in Education (sounds catchy, but don’t be fooled by it rhythmic lyrics – it’s a tangled mess of drive, humanist, behaviourist, cognitive and attribution theories – Doesn’t sound so attractive now does it!) Most people were quite serious and philosophical with their “I want to make a difference to the community” and “I want to prove to myself I can do it” speeches. Others said they just want to be teachers. It was soon my turn and I squeaked “I just love to learn!” since I was still gasping for breath and it’s actually the truth - I can honestly say I’m buzzing with excitement two days after lessons. (I hope it’s not just a novelty and will wear off with time).

We were shown 5 different theories of motivation and stressed to read up and compare at least two of them, since we will need the evidence and knowledge for our 3 hour written exam on “Motivation theories” in January…yikes! (This worries me a bit as we are not allowed computers, which I reply on for spelling and grammar checks plus can easily cut and paste sentences to make them flow better – Odd that I don’t use these functions to clean up my blogs then?)

After a few handouts on more motivation theories it was time for us to give our presentations. (Sorry I forgot to mention this - Last week we were tasked with creating a 5-10 minute presentation to perform in front of the class) I’m shaking with excitement or is that fear? Either way it didn’t matter as we ran out of time and a few of us were told to wait until next week to give ours. This of course would turn out to be two weeks later as the next week was half term and everyone in Education was on holiday…nothing like prolonging the torment!

Week 4

and..our Physics teacher stinks!

Beginning to get more confident about going to class this week, and feeling bad about missing last week, I promised myself I would contribute to discussions today. Although that went straight out the window when the aims were written on the board…Identify perspectives on learning, the behaviourist approach to learning and the humanist approach to learning.

It would appear everyone had been told last week to read up about this before coming in. So I did what I’m good at…sitting, writing notes and nodding my head in agreement or disagreement with the class. I did however get a chance to speak for a moment, as we were asked to state our worst subject in secondary school, why we disliked it and what factors contributed towards the experience.

Mine was Physics and was mainly due to the teacher! He didn’t give any assistance when struggling; although we never wanted him to since he had atrocious personal hygiene!

Before I continue any further, I should state this was not during the time Tim Cotter was teaching us Physics, as he was actually a good teacher and even though I had that blank expression on my face Tim, I was taking some of it in, or at least I hoped the head nodding would show I was still awake (or nodding off?). Although I could indirectly blame you for my bad experience of Physics, since it was your fault for resigning before I completed my GCSE’s and the school replaced you with the worst teacher in the world!

Anyway where was I…oh yes the appalling hygiene – Fellow classmates tried giving him hints by leaving a bottle of “head and shoulders, anti dandruff” shampoo on his desk. I still have no idea what he did with the bottles (and frankly don’t want to know!), but knew he never used the shampoo for washing! And he most certainly had no idea what deodorant was! Hell…the toilets in the boys cloakroom (don’t ask how I know that!) smelled better!

He couldn’t control the class and more often than not we would be doing our homework from other classes during his lessons. The lessons were dull as they were taught in a monotone didactic style, so if you’re not aiming at a career in engineering then your attention is hard to hold in physics anyway without making it drearier!

It was basically an awful two years of Physics lessons and I’m sure I only scraped a D because I remembered everything from the previous 3 years with Mr Cotter, that and forced myself to open a GCSE Physics book – Trust me this is surprisingly hard for a 15 year old adolescent, who had little to no interest in wanting to become either a Physics teacher or Engineer!.

Week 3

If you haven’t fallen asleep yet you will probably be pleased to know I missed week 3, so have nothing to write about…and it was on Vygotsky and Bruner two more scholars darn it!

My Piaget Essay's

Piaget’s Theory of Child Development

Jean Piaget a Swiss scholar (1896-1980) became most famous for his theory that children pass through four stages of cognitive development.

The sensori-motor stage is the basis for zero to two year olds. Here babies begin to build up schemas as they adapt to their surroundings, although at a very early age their behaviour consists simply of reflex responses. They are believed to be extremely ego-centric and are unable to perceive object permanence until eight months of age. Symbolic functions and language begin developing towards the end of this stage.

The pre-operational stage is the basis for two to seven year olds, which Piaget divides again into two periods; the pre-conceptual period, for two to four year olds, and the intuitive period, for four to seven year olds. He suggests children are unable to envisage multiple dimensions and have difficulty focusing on more than one characteristic of objects. Children’s symbolic thinking and language skills are developing rapidly but they are still unable to think logically and prefer visual references to problem solve. Piaget believed this was due to their ego-centrism, which in turn was assumed a possible key factor in children’s animism. Towards the end of this stage they do however begin to think operationally and logically as they are continually assimilating and accommodating existing schemas and adapting new schemas to enable them to achieve a state of equilibrium.

The concrete operational stage is the basis for seven to eleven year olds where their ego-centrism disbands. Operational thinking is consolidated and conservation fully attained. The formal operational stage is basis for eleven year olds to adults. At this level individuals are able to use logical thinking and reasoning and can think abstractly.

Number of Words 287

Expected Classroom Observations about Piaget’s work

I have been able to secure a placement with Leesland Junior School, where I will be assisting the year three teacher with her class of seven to eight years olds. At this age children are in the earliest period of the concrete operational stage according to Piaget’s cognitive development theory.

I believe the children will have lost or are beginning to lose their ego-centrism and therefore be able to decentre and appreciate the views of their class mates, while in open discussions. Language will be well developed and children will be concentrating on fine-tuning this, by learning to speak, spell and write words outside their vocabulary. Since Piaget believed dis-equilibrium would be experienced as unpleasant the children may find this activity reasonably challenging.

Children should be well practised in mental reversal by now according to Piaget and therefore should easily consolidate and fully attain conservation. They will also be able to conserve numbers, but may still have trouble with mass at this stage. They will probably begin problem solving without visual references to encourage them to enhance operational thinking, but when given a visual problem will be able to solve it easily.

Number of words 198

These scored me a nice 77% equating to a grade B - I'll have to try harder next time!

Week 2

I learned from my actions last week and managed to behave like a complete adult all day this week – It was surprisingly easy to be mature…sip tea, take notes and nod head approvingly or disapprovingly with rest of class and most importantly…don’t speak!

After some intense reading, which turned into discussions and debates (Not speaking would prove hard during this, but I thankfully sat next to a very vocal lady, so no-one noticed me not contributing to the conversation) on the Jean Piaget theory, we were tasked with a game the tutor called “Splat”. She wrote all the terms we had learned today, randomly on the board, and then asked for two volunteers to come to the front of the class – Of course no-one offered, so she picked two people anyway (Don’t you love teachers when they do that!) The rest of the class would then ask questions, relating to a word on the board and the first person to splat (slap their hand) on the board over the correct word won, so they could sit down and the next victim could go up…this is what we get for not volunteering to go first!

The game was actually quite good fun and I wasn’t that nervous when my turn came about. Most people had had a go already and I was now familiar with each term, which if you’re interested is:-

Sensor-motor Stage – The first stage (age 0-2) of Piaget’s theory of cognitive development

Pre-operational Stage – The second stage (age 2-7) of Piaget’s theory

Concrete Operational Stage – The third stage (Age 7-11) of Piaget’s theory

Formal Operational Stage – Last stage (11+ year olds) of Piaget’s theory

Cognitive – Of knowledge

Schemas – Mental files of information

Animism – Where objects are believed to be alive
Ego-Centric – Can not distinguish between self and others
Object permanence – Younger children disregard an objects existence when it disappears from sight.
Accommodation – Existing schemas are changed to accommodate information
Adaption – When a new schemas is created
Reflex – React without thinking
Equilibrium – Perception of the world fits existing schemas
Conservation – Understanding objects remain the same even if transformed
Dis-Equilibrium – Discontent about change and new experiences
Assimilation – New information is tagged onto existing schemas

I suppose unless you are studying Piaget or sitting the Education and teaching module this will mean nothing to you? So sorry about that.

At the end of the lesson we were set our first assignment – A 300 word essay on Piaget’s theory...joy!

Week 1

I’m only attending college every Wednesday at the moment, as I am on a two year access course in teaching (It can be done in one year, but I have family commitments and finances are limited). From 9:30-12:45 is the education and teaching module. We normally take a break around 11am to go to the toilet and grab another cup of tea – Its great being a grown-up at school, as we are allowed cups of tea in class! Half an hour for lunch goes rather fast before heading to the Study Skills lesson from 13:15-14:45. And that’s it…not very pressing at the moment, but from January I will be going to Psychology on Thursdays and Biology on Fridays, so will be attending college three days a week, which should keep me on my toes for a while.

My first week of this 2 year course was such a rush of blood to the brain, my cells almost stopped functioning, which might explain why I sat in the classroom lifeless, with a blank expression on my face for the first half hour?

It took 10 minutes to actually find the classroom (If that’s what you could call it?) behind the sports hall. It was more like a crèche, with toys, board games and video’s cluttering this tiny space - the only thing that was missing was kids! Although after breaking the ice with comments like:

Where our name tags were on the meter high coat hooks?
How nice the mural was on the wall,
And “Oh wow Peter Pan – I haven’t sent that in ages!” while scanning the video collection
I guess you could say that position was filled, although disguised in the body of a 26 year old!

I found a spare seat amongst the 15 other people crammed in, and thankfully they didn’t lean away from this peculiar person that had just invaded their class. (I am of course a newbie here, since I missed the first week of the course because of my late application). A few minutes later the tutor arrived a bid us “Good morning”. Every bone in my body wanted to burst out “Goooood mooooorning Miiiiss! In that very childish voice, but thankfully I managed to pull myself together and just utter a “Morning” instead…phew! That was close; I’m going to have to shake this childlike behaviour off quick!

It didn’t take long either, with the first task being an essay on “Why we want to be teachers?” This was quite a shock to me, since I haven’t put a pen to paper in some time and…Why do I want to be a teacher? I still haven’t quite worked it out myself, it just feels like the right thing to be doing right now, but that’s not going to fill an A4 page!

Now noticing everyone had already started writing while I was lost in my thoughts I hastily started to write…anything. And here it is…

Why be a teacher?

My first introduction to teaching was a 2 two week work experience course, while still at school myself. There I assisted the teachers in the Reception and Pre-school classes. Reception was the most enjoyable for me as the children had passed the playing and having fun stage and were beginning to actually learn skills like writing and counting.

I would like to become a Primary school teacher in the higher age range (about 7-11), although have not completely decided on my chosen subject yet.

Science is an area where I would be comfortable, preferably in Chemistry and/or Biology as when I was a student these were my favourite subject choices. This area would also prove satisfying as it has much responsibility, but the excitement of practical experiments.

Other core subjects choices would be Geography. Although I have limited knowledge in this area it was always a subject the held my attention in class and would again be an entertaining experience to teach.
Wrong word eg you are not going to learn geography to be entertained are you?

Just being a teacher would be an achievement and would have great job satisfaction. To be able to teach people to learn new skills and achieve great things in life is would be very rewarding.

Very clear, well structured, however please note my comments Marie. Good start!

(Tutors comments and marks in red)

I know…what a load of tripe eh? But in my defence I panicked!

The funny part, reading back, is my favourite subjects were actually Art and Music! Science followed closely afterwards though, but admittedly the "excitement of practical experiments" is just playing with the Bunsen burners and dissecting organs!

The geography lesson probably held my attention more for the fact the teacher (Mr Clark) was hot!

And don’t ask me what I was thinking writing that last paragraph…what an arse licker! Ah well at least the tutor was kind to me.

So after that shocker we continued the lesson with an introduction on Mr Jean Piaget (a Swiss scholar). And that’s where I’ll stop, as we continue with Piaget next week!

Want to be a Teacher?

After attending my last lesson at Highbury college this year (since I will be going to my school placement for the last 4 weeks, but will explain that later), I realised I haven’t shared anything with you about my experiences (except the spagnets!). So I propose to do so in a series of blogs coming soon…

Double Decker

Why do they put the number on the back of the bus too…

So they can rub in the fact that you've just missed it!

Glasses

This isn’t me - I'm not silly enough to actually post a picture of my most embarrassing glasses days!

A word I have never liked unless used in the context “Would you like glasses with your beers?”

I have never had great eyesight, although I’m not completely blind I am just short sighted, but went through my childhood wearing a thick pair of goggles…highly embarrassing, particularly in secondary school! - Enhanced by my parents picking my glasses for me, a stunning pair of blue plastic rimmed milk bottles! – Apparently I would have broken the metal rimmed ones – I’m still thinking it’s a form of torture!

During the final years of school I neglected to wear them as much as possible and still managed ok. Although the teachers were wondering why I was sitting at the front of the class as opposed to my preferred…way in the back, where they can’t single you out for questioning (which I should add doesn’t always work unless you have a tall person in front of you). It actually proved better in the front as the teacher seemed to look right over you and single out the middle and back rows*

When I left school and began working, I stopped wearing my glasses all together as I was employed as an Agricultural Assistant**, which mainly consisted of farm labour type work and glasses were sure to be lost or broken, especially while wrestling sheep, digging post holes and being zapped by an electric fence…Ah…fond memories – Still reluctant to touch wire fences today!

After two years there I decided this casual labour lark was for mugs, especially in winter! So went and found myself an office job (which oddly enough was horrible during summer – can’t win can you?!) Another draw back of gong to work in an office was I had to give in and go to the opticians, as starring at a computer screen for 8 hours a day is not good for the eyes, especially when you are squinting to see the screen in the first instance.

So £108.00 later I had myself a new pair of stylish metal glasses (Parents were not allowed anywhere near the selection process this time!) and I begun to wear them more frequently. Until one of my girls broke the leg off them and I had to tape it back on like Jack Duckworth in Corrie Street. Not an attractive feature and they rarely appeared out of the glasses case from that moment.

I haven’t worn my glasses for almost a year now and discovered them while clearing out the house down south. For some reason I brought them with me (possibly thinking of getting them fixed here?), but before I could get that far they were attacked by the miniature monsters and are now minus a piece of glass, one leg has gone all together and the other is still taped up. I had a go at fixing them, but couldn’t see the tiny screw to fix the leg back on...Ironic or what - I need glasses to fix my glasses!

After quite a lot of cursing, swearing and hunting around the carpeted floor for 10 minutes looking for the tiny screw I had just dropped, I gave up. So I’m back to squinting at the computer screen and holding books up to my nose to read – Oh well I guess I’ll go to an optician here one day?

“So there’s an idea kids – If you are particularly shy and dread reading out loud or answering questions chances are you will be missed in the front row – I’m sorry if this doesn’t work remember it was some 10 years ago!

** I did actually achieve the required grades to go onto college, but decided to stay back, get a job and go training later.

Wind Farms

Recently the Falkland Islands have been taking huge leaps in development, with the introduction of three massive wind turbines, on their wind swept grasslands, near the local Abattoir.*

While chatting with my parents the other night they happened to comment on how bad the weather has been lately. It’s supposed to be summer there now, but they have experienced everything from wind, rain and even snow! Just like here then, but we are approaching winter! Mum even went as far to say that she has never encountered this much wind at this time of year before. It was at that moment it struck me! Is it just a coincidence that it has been especially windy since the wind turbines were installed?

It would be interesting to get some statistics from the Met Office to see if my theory is correct? If so the Islands should start using this extra wind to their advantage. They could bottle the fresh air up, label it “SWEET FA” and sell it off to the smog filled cities around the world. (I’d like to stamp a copyright on this idea before anyone starts making any real money from it too!)

I recall a few stories when these massive structures were first being suggested to the islanders, and the various comments in the weekly paper that followed.

How would the sheep feel about eating in a field with a massive propeller whizzing and buzzing above there heads – How would they sleep at night with the noise? They will be scared and therefore traumatised before going into the abattoir, which will lead to meat being tougher – Somehow I think the fact sheep dying in front of them is the only trauma they are going to encounter before getting zapped themselves, not the piece of metal taking up good grazing!

Would Police be spending more time piecing together bits of geese that had mysteriously begun splattering the fields around the abattoir to determine the cause of death?

MOD Tornados now have another object to miss, unless they are trying to get points for hitting aerials? (About a year ago there was an encounter when, while buzzing the town one of the tornados clipped a television aerial on a small hill. Locals were fuming when they missed Eastenders that night!)

And men may become balder? If they already have weak hair follicles they will struggle to remain embedded in the scalp, which (if caught in time) could be another little money earner…making wigs – otherwise a hat shop might be a good addition to town?

And hey if none of these ideas take off I suppose they could set-up sheep psychology sessions?

* These are not the first wind turbines in the Islands - they have been introducing smaller wind turbines to farms for a few years now.

Socks

It’s not quite winter but it certainly feels like it at the moment with temperatures getting as low as 1 degree outside already!

This said I decided to go to bed with my socks on last night, for a little extra warmth, as even though you get plenty of space in a double bed, without the human water-bottle that normally sleeps next to me it’s bloody freezing!

After wrapping the duvet around me as if being squeezed by a boa constrictor, and burying my nose into the pillow (no comments thanks!), I was set for a good warm sleep.

As always the girls were up and running around the bedroom pestering me for breakfast by 7:30am. The alarm is normally set for this time anyway, but I like to lay for a minute, to wake up, before leaping into the cold air and scrambling around for clothes. (I sometimes wonder if I even need an alarm when the girls are like clockwork).

I forced my eyelids apart and turned to two smiling faces eagerly awaiting me. Then I felt a kick in my back…Katie had somehow sneaked into my bed and was quite happily snoring away behind me. After miming “one…two…three” to myself while rocking back and forth I hauled myself out of bed – “Wholly crap its cold!” I croaked in my best morning voice.

Quickly finding my trousers and a warm jumper I then realized I wasn’t wearing any socks - I thought I left them on last night? They must have slipped off, and will be lying at the bottom of the bed, so I lifted the duvet (much to Kate’s disapproval), but nothing. Maybe I didn’t put them on? So I looked around the floor and under the bed, still nothing? Oh well - I needed a fresh pair anyway, so bent down to the draw, still mystified about the missing socks, when I caught sight of something stuffed under my pillows. I lifted the top pillow up and sure enough both socks were lying there, sprawled out as if they were supposed to be there!

I have no recollection of even touching my socks yesterday, which is why I could have believed they slipped off my feet during the night, and were sitting at the bottom of bed, but under my pillow? What’s that all about, and how on earth??

Autumn Leaves

As autumn ends and winter begins to set in, I have only just realised this is my first autumn with leaves!

It’s not because the Falklands don’t have any trees…hell they must have at least 50 dotted over the 4,700 square miles of grassland! Ok…so that’s not very many in the grand scheme of things, but at least they are not like that place that only has 5 or so trees and the locals have gone as far as naming each one! (When I remember where it is I’ll let you know)…No the trees in the Falklands are mostly conifers, so don’t change colour or loose any leaves in the colder seasons.

So now I’m taking it all in being in the UK, enjoying the beautiful colours of parks and the trees lining our street. Even our little Fig tree is nearly naked now!

It’s almost hypnotic watching the leaves fall from the branches, gently spiralling and dancing there way down to the ground where they come to rest. It’s almost romantically poetic until you continue their journey. Being brushed, raked and blown into a pile on the road and not very graciously sucked up into a miniature street cleaning vehicle!

So, on that note I’m off for a walk to kick a few piles of leaves around before the next council truck comes along…hehehe.

Fountain of Yuck

A quiet evening, (more so now with Dan not home - not saying he’s noisy or anything), the girls are in bed and I’m skyping a cute sailor aboard the James Cook. As he heads off to get some sleep before going on watch I hear some movement upstairs…great! Who’s out of bed this time?

It was Katie and she was complaining about feeling ill, after some comfort she decided she would be ok, so I escorted her back to bed and returned downstairs to shut down everything. A few minutes later I hear movement upstairs again and then that awful sound…splat! A watery splat! By the time I get to the stairs Katie is there looking down, projectile vomiting. (If it wasn’t so disgusting I would have congratulated her for getting the distance she did).

Judging the pauses between vomiting I darted upstairs and quickly guided her to the toilet. After cleaning her up I asked if she wanted to stay in my room tonight – As she is a sensitive soul and would probably prefer to have mum around when she’s being sick, plus I could get her to the toilet quickly! This was however a big mistake and after cleaning the stairs and finishing downstairs, Kate was back out of bed and giving the carpet another good covering!

As I cleaned her up for the second time she asked to go back to her bed, so I tucked her up and placed a bowl next to the bed. As I came back to clean the stairs I noticed why Katie was so keen to get back in her bed…she hadn’t just covered the carpet on the stairs with her peas, carrots and what looks like tuna, she had covered my bed too! Where does it all come from? Her stomach must be like a tardis…larger on in inside!

She finally went to sleep and I slept in a half made bed (Since I only changed the sheets two days ago and hadn’t washed and dried them yet!) that smells of sick…lovely!

Guess I’m going to miss school tomorrow too…sigh!

Can you see us waving?

This isn't the James Cook, but I'm sure Dan will have an idea of what ship it is - He's geekishly amazing like that.

A pleasant surprise occurred last week, when the RRS James Cook berthed at Southampton and Dan could commute every evening to see us. It was a little hard on him though, since he was getting home between 5:30-6:30pm in the evenings after suffering the massive congestion that occurs from 4:30 (especially on the Gosport roads since there are only two main roads that enter this tip of the country!) That and he had to get up at 6am to drive back, although luckily misses the main surge of vehicles at this time of day.

But with everything good there is always something bad and before I knew it, it’s time for goodbyes again! This was hard enough two weeks ago, but seems to be ten times worse this time!

The girls were a little confused again about Dad’s disappearance and I thought as they also missed his last goodbyes (since they sleep like bricks until 7:30am) I would surprise them with a visit to the beach so they could wave goodbye as the ship passes, coming out of Southampton waters.

This was unfortunately a disaster!

We picked Katie up at 3pm, made sure she was wrapped up like a woolly mammoth (like the rest of us) and started our mini migration south/west. It took 45 minutes to reach the point (as we stopped at the waterhole and last grazing field) only to discover a tall wire fence and sign saying “KEEP OUT - MOD PROPERTY”. Then the girls decided they needed the toilet – luckily there is a small café at the edge of the road, so we walked back to it to see another sign “Only customers may use the toilets” (I wonder if that counts for baby mammoths?) Thinking fast I escorted the girls in and promptly bought three cookies and a cup of tea. We sat down and, as if on cue, the girls asked for the toilet. When we returned to our table I noticed the kitchen staff tidying up and turning the lights out - I must admit I didn’t check what time this place closed, but the lady strutting around, cleaning the clean tables was making me feel uncomfortable and blatantly obvious they wanted us gone ASAP! So I sculled my tea, burnt my mouth and bundled the herd up again.

We walked back to the fence, bailed out of the pram and walked down the beach a bit. Various texts from Dan had confirmed they were on their way so there was nothing to do now but wait. It was 4:45 and the sky was getting darker, so I began to wonder if we would see anything at all. A few minutes later though, there she was - I grabbed the binoculars in one hand and my phone in the other as Dan had called us by this stage. Apparently he was wearing bright yellow on the foredeck, but the ship was hugging the west coast and we didn’t see him at all - let alone waving.

So we bid him farewell on the phone, I showed the girls the tiny white light on the horizon, told them that was Daddy on his ship, turned and headed home, cold and hungry.

Birthday Cakes

One thing I really enjoy about upcoming birthdays is making the cake, but recently I think that sparkle has gone (the picture evidence is conclusive enough!)

I put it down to not having the correct equipment (my own fault as I haven’t gone out and bought an icing gun and accessories), but I think it’s also down to the Superstores selling tasty, smart looking novelty cakes for under £10!

The girls are now at the age where they are beginning to challenge me (much like we challenged our mum years ago) to make all sorts of wild and wonderful cakes. This year Rebecca asked for a “My Little Pony” cake (her choice not mine!) and with a little improvising I managed to produce this…

I know it’s not great, but with a bit more time I could have turned it into something fantastic, since the inspiration was there, with the squirty cream hair and clever use of manufactured icing flowers - Rebecca was happy with it so that all that counts really. (Dan commented on what the pony’s name was…thinking fast I refused to comment as I would be forever mocked for knowing it…Its “Posey” if you really are interested).

Now it’s November and Katie’s birthday has sprung up on me. Two days before her birthday she asked me for a plane cake. That evening I set about making a sponge, cut it into shape, then with a bit (well a lot of) jam I glued it together and covered it with a tiny piece of rolled icing. By 11pm I was getting tired and losing my patience with the tail flap that wouldn’t stay on, so gave up and went to bed leaving it like this…

In the morning Katie commented “Wow an aeroplane!” which thrilled me as she could at least recognise it, but then lead to me to wonder that maybe when she said plane she actually meant plain? Sigh…oh well I will persist and complete this disaster.

By the next afternoon my patience was at an all time low and…yes you guessed it I went out and bought one, although I couldn’t find an aeroplane so went for her next favourite thing Bratz (personally I hate these creepy looking dolls – I may have mocked Barbie’s Movies, but at least she looks human…in her anorexic, blonde bimbo kind of way)

She was of course thrilled by the Bratz cake and the aeroplane…well that turned into a plane crash.

No Cat...Odd that?

I’ve been walking around a bit this week and noticed a sudden decline in the feline population?

There are always, at least, two cats on the cycle path we use to get into town. Even straying off the beaten path to search out cats in other areas revealed nothing? When reaching the High Street however the first thing that caught my attention was the massive sale on at “Shoefayre”! I didn’t go inside to confirm my suspicions though as the girls were with me and may have got upset by seeing our friendly neighbour hood cat paired up and on sale for £6! Or worse they may have wanted to buy them!!

After a bit of investigation on the internet when returning home - It would appear cats are not the only targets on this huge unwanted pet problem...

Hell’s Kitchen Bedroom Nightmare

Last night I had the most peculiar dream – I can’t remember the whole thing but it went something like this…

I was on a pier with a bunch people I haven’t seen in years, we were researching something or possibly assisting with a movie, it’s a little vague. The main recollection that stuck out was sitting on the ground leaning up against a wall, with a beer in hand, talking to Gordon Ramsey. It was picture and word perfect, as in all the f’s and blinding but in a humorous way. We were criticising the place around us and having a right good laugh, when he asked if I wanted to go back to his hotel. I accepted and next thing the dream jumped to a small hotel room with a massive bed. Gordon mentions he was really tired from kneading so much cookie dough. Then I notice the port-hole window in the door and got up to try and cover it up when a woman knocks at the door and sees me in my glory…and that’s where it ends I’m afraid, since the girls were poking and prodding me for breakfast and I woke up.

I can only put it down to the fact that I’ve made three batches of cookies recently and I must have spotted Gordon on the television before going to bed – That’s my logical reasoning, but I’m sure there will be some more deep and meaningful explanation to it, so would be interested to know if anyone is a dream expert.

Barbie Brainwash Day

It would appear Sky is struggling to find programs to show on television this Saturday, since they have one channel dedicated to all the Barbie movies made so far. Honestly its one Barbie movie after the next and since the girls have lost the remote control and I can’t be bothered getting up to change channel manually, I guess we are stuck with it! (And that isn’t an excuse so I can watch it I am more into My Little Pon…anyway moving on)

While typing this blog I could feel my brain clouding over in a beautiful pink mist, then clearing into a field of flowers and fluffy creatures. It’s hideously pretty and enough to put you off any meal. Everything is happily every after and magic is more common then non homosexual princes. My advice to you is stay well away and if you really want to watch a fairytale go and see Shrek!

Some of the movies that were on...

Pinned to the ocean floor by my tail tale.

The Jewellery box thief movie!

Attack of the Pink Wasp movie.

Me, My gay boyfriend and a horse for a sister movie

Halloworks

It’s a bit late, but Halloween and Fireworks night seem to be a weekly event up here anyway. I have lost count of the number of times each evening when nearly pooping my pants after a loud bang goes off somewhere nearby! The girls however think its great fun and will even go to bed with the curtains open in the hope of seeing some of the noise polluting sods (Now I sound like a grumpy old woman, but they were still awake and messing around at 10pm last night!)

Last week we caved in and got into the Halloween spirit by going to a Halloween themed night with Tracy and Steve. They said it was a costume party for the whole family, but they weren’t going to bother dressing up themselves. Thank goodness! I was up all night making the girls something and didn’t have the time or enthusiasm for making myself and Dan something too (Although I would never get Dan into a costume without a fight – he’s never been one for dressing up*)

The evening itself was really good, the bar had made a real effort in decorating the hall and the music wasn’t even that bad. Leaving was a blur and the girls talked none stop about it for two days afterwards which is always a good sign of a good night out.

We didn’t however go trick or treating on the 31st as the costumes (Bin bags, sticky tape and newspaper) were all but destroyed from the evening, but may make an effort to see any fireworks displays on the 5th…take the curtain net off and switch all the lights out! LOL

*Even on our wedding day, he wanted to wear black jeans and his steel toe caped caterpillar boots and didn’t want to wear a tie. I got the pants changed and the tie on, but can’t remember if he got away with the boots? I do remember them having HELP written across the sole though…Little shit!

Gone already!

RRS James Cook

It’s only been 12 days and Dan has gone again!

I should be toughened up to it by now (being married to a sailor for 7 years) but for some reason it’s seems to be getting harder each time. For the last two days I have been a mix of emotions;

Excitement - for Dan as this ship looks and sounds fantastic,
Emptiness - from the sudden disappearance of his presence,
Jealousy - as he is going on another adventure and I am left behind again,
Relief – that we can still communicate, since the ship has a permanent internet connection,
Worry – about how I will cope for three months without him and that his Visa will go through smoothly.
Disappointment – that we are going to miss another Christmas and New Year Celebration with Dan

I have begun to get good at covering the more depressing emotions up by humour, so hopefully you will see more cheerful blogs being posted for a few months – And I’ll try and be nicer to cats from now too!