I am now convinced I'm a human magnet for special needs people! They seem to single me out of a crowd – I don’t know why I’m any different to the other 50-100 people standing in the area, but I’m obviously giving off something that attracts these people - like a bee to nectar or a fly to shit?
Take Wednesday for instance; I was minding my own business in the college library, knelt down in front of the Psychology for teachers books (It’s far more interesting than it sounds), when I caught a figure out of the corner of my eye heading my way. Disregarding this as there were a few people in the area I continued scanning the shelves. Seconds later an electronic wheelchair was parked up alongside me and a girl starring cross-eyed down at me. She mumbled something, which she had to repeat 4 times because I couldn’t understand her, but I finally narrowed it down to Art and easy books. I lead her to that section, showed her down the aisle and quickly high-tailed it into the depths of the library (I wasn’t going to hang around and find out if I had guided her to the wrong area!) After waiting a little while I managed to sneak back to my shelf, grab a few books that I hoped will be useful and depart the building and college before I’m cornered again!
Another encounter was in a Restaurant/Bar on the High Street with Dan and the girls. We were sitting down for a meal, when a lady and her son sat down at the table adjacent us. All was fine until she went to order the food and he started talking to us about beans. It was then we realised this adult male had the mental age of a 6 year old. The rest of the meal was really uncomfortable as the chap keep talking to us…now about tomato sauce and sausages – I’ve never eaten so fast and feel sorry for the girls having to bolt down their food too.
And at a different restaurant/bar in Gunwharf Quays one time - we were already sat at our table again, eating our meal when a strange looking guy came in a sat on the sofa behind us. He seemed fine for a while until he started talking…to himself. I kept my head down and didn’t make any sudden moves in case we made eye contact and he decided to start talking to us. We did actually get away with it as he finished his beer and left the room. We chatted about how he must be thinking we are an ignorant bunch of buggers, but then thought he was probably having such a good time with his imaginary friends he probably didn’t even notice us and three other families in the room with him/them?
One last incident was collecting Katie from school – There’s a special needs lady that lives close to the school. On our way home she was just heading in through her house gate when she suddenly stopped and starred right at me. I almost froze for a moment while thinking “Oh no, please no!” When thankfully the carer called for her to go inside - a huge sigh of relief flowed through me - This would be the fourth awkward encounter in less than two weeks!
So there now has to be enough evidence that they are conspiring against me. I must have an invisible "spagnet" tattooed across my forehead so I can attract awkward situations more easily…Joy!
Take Wednesday for instance; I was minding my own business in the college library, knelt down in front of the Psychology for teachers books (It’s far more interesting than it sounds), when I caught a figure out of the corner of my eye heading my way. Disregarding this as there were a few people in the area I continued scanning the shelves. Seconds later an electronic wheelchair was parked up alongside me and a girl starring cross-eyed down at me. She mumbled something, which she had to repeat 4 times because I couldn’t understand her, but I finally narrowed it down to Art and easy books. I lead her to that section, showed her down the aisle and quickly high-tailed it into the depths of the library (I wasn’t going to hang around and find out if I had guided her to the wrong area!) After waiting a little while I managed to sneak back to my shelf, grab a few books that I hoped will be useful and depart the building and college before I’m cornered again!
Another encounter was in a Restaurant/Bar on the High Street with Dan and the girls. We were sitting down for a meal, when a lady and her son sat down at the table adjacent us. All was fine until she went to order the food and he started talking to us about beans. It was then we realised this adult male had the mental age of a 6 year old. The rest of the meal was really uncomfortable as the chap keep talking to us…now about tomato sauce and sausages – I’ve never eaten so fast and feel sorry for the girls having to bolt down their food too.
And at a different restaurant/bar in Gunwharf Quays one time - we were already sat at our table again, eating our meal when a strange looking guy came in a sat on the sofa behind us. He seemed fine for a while until he started talking…to himself. I kept my head down and didn’t make any sudden moves in case we made eye contact and he decided to start talking to us. We did actually get away with it as he finished his beer and left the room. We chatted about how he must be thinking we are an ignorant bunch of buggers, but then thought he was probably having such a good time with his imaginary friends he probably didn’t even notice us and three other families in the room with him/them?
One last incident was collecting Katie from school – There’s a special needs lady that lives close to the school. On our way home she was just heading in through her house gate when she suddenly stopped and starred right at me. I almost froze for a moment while thinking “Oh no, please no!” When thankfully the carer called for her to go inside - a huge sigh of relief flowed through me - This would be the fourth awkward encounter in less than two weeks!
So there now has to be enough evidence that they are conspiring against me. I must have an invisible "spagnet" tattooed across my forehead so I can attract awkward situations more easily…Joy!
3 Comments:
well you married one so its your own fault!
I thought you were just acting young at heart!
The dribble should have been a dead give away...
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