Saturday, October 27, 2007

Illegal Alien


The illegal immigrant is back, although by the skin of his teeth by the sound of it – only his gift of the gab on the immigration officer scraping him through the arrivals hall at Heathrow – The alternative being deported back to St Petersburg, Russia (his favourite city port).

So after two days locked away in the house, just in case immigration are looking for him we finally decided to venture out and take a stroll into the High Street. A visit to the Library was in order as I needed to find some books on Psychology, Childhood Development and Motivation (sounds riveting doesn’t it?) for my course work. It took some time, but I managed to find a book on Psychology for Teachers and Cognitive Psychology which made me feel really important and clever when hiring them out, although that soon disappeared when I got home and started scanning through it - Page 506 of cognitive development later and I’m wondering if this book was even worth hiring?

Getting back to the main story…Eventually arriving at the High Street we realized we had made the same mistake we always do…coming here on a Tuesday. Tuesday is market day and the street is full of stalls, but worse than a hawker trying to sell you cheap tat is the old people trying to push past you to buy the cheap tat! If you think old people are slow and insane you are wrong – they can move for a bargain quicker than a kingfisher diving for his breakfast. (I have related them to these little birds mainly because of the similarity in colours they wear!)

Half way through I can see the kids are tiring from the constant granny comments and pats on the head so we make a break for Woolworth’s (which would normally be full of the old people, but thankfully they are all too busy outside). We amble around for a while looking at Halloween costumes and possible birthday presents for Katie, which is not going to be a Halloween costume before you think I’m a total cheapskate!

As I walked away from the witches dresses thinking “What a rip off” Dan grabs my arm and leads me towards a rack full of computer games. He quickly points at the £4.99 sign on all games then tries to lure me in further by pointing out a new Settlers game on the rack. As I go to pick it up and have a look he quickly throws MotoGP 2008 in my hands and grins cheekily. Puppy eyes and negotiating ends up in both games heading to the counter only to discover the Moto GP game wasn’t supposed to be on that rack and was £9.99 – We still got it though…I’m far too soft!

So with games in hand our new mission was to get home and load them up. As we departed Woolworths we looked back up the street to see the old people still going strong - thinking about the nightmare of walking back through this we turned towards the ferry route and high-tailed it away from the crowds.

The walk along the waterfront was peaceful, we watched a few ferries sailing past and stopped a little further along while Dan and Katie climbed up a small bank (Although it would have seemed like a mountain to them). They lay down on top and rolled to the bottom. Becky and I also had turns and after we were all thoroughly covered in grass cuttings we continued home.

Everyone was knackered by the time we made it to the front door, I felt in my pocket for the keys, but remembered Dan was last out so asked him for the house keys. He tapped and felt in every pocket, scanned the pram, even checked the girl’s pockets, but nothing…our only house key was gone! Dan headed back to the hill rolling some 2 miles back, thinking that was the only possible place they could have fallen out, while I attempted a break in. I got as far as getting the lower half of the door unlocked and a red arm from trying to get the upper half unlocked through the letter flap when Dan arrived back, although he couldn’t find the key. We eventually managed to force our way in and are now looking in the yellow pages for Locksmiths…sigh!

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