Bus Antics

'Clover' the number 5 bus

It’s a normal Wednesday morning, although I’m heading back to college this week and very excited to catch up with class mates to see how their placements went?

I catch the ferry a bit earlier than usual and the number 41 rolls into the station two minutes after stepping into the shelter, so I’m on my way by 8:45, which is a bonus, although I’m wondering why everything is going so smoothly? The bus is surprisingly empty at first and I sit next to the window admiring the scenery and checking I still recognise the buildings, so I will hit the bell before my stop! As we wait at traffic lights I see ahead of us a traffic cone go skimming across the stream of cars. It’s an amusing sight and I can only assume that a car’s wheel has caught the edge of the cone and flicked it in tiddlywinks style across the road, but some little part of me wants to leap out of the bus, run over and grab the cone, lifting it expecting to see ‘Buzz Lightyear’ or some other toy underneath, as this thought occurs the bus begins to move and I consider to myself that maybe I watch too many cartoons?

A little further along our journey we round a corner and I spot an old man, As we get closer I see his grey hair sticking out between the tweed hat and coat, I don’t know why I’m watching him for so long, it must be a dull area of town for buildings and the like, so I stay fixated on him At the very moment we pass, he raises his head and there in full view is a long wet snot hanging from his nose! Hilarious!! Unfortunately while taking in this humorous sight I neglected to stop myself from squeaking aloud a giggle into the very silent bus and it would seem I was the only one that had seen the old man too, as I could suddenly feel the stares boring into the back of my head (since I had thankfully chosen to sit near the front of the bus). I sank into my seat a little, feeling my face turn a nice shade of beetroot and continued looking out the window searching for my exit, which was not for another 10 minutes!

The journey home was not as entertaining so I had to make my own. One was forming shadow puppets - although I had to give that up since the direction of my shadowy dinosaurs were hitting the chests and legs of the passengers opposite, which thankfully they didn’t notice otherwise that could have been an embarrassing situation.!

So I was back to looking out the window for entertainment. Just then we passed a huge sign of a beaver saying “You can’t lick beaver…for the best tool hire” Of course just reading the first part tickled me…hey I was struggling for entertainment remember!?

I ended up sitting idle for the last part of the journey listening to someone’s MP3 player blaring away a few seats behind me wondering what next weeks bus antics will bring.

Under my umbrella…ella…ella

Yes it was a great song, but it’s not all as glamorous as Rihanna!

I’m a bit of a grouch when it comes to this awful invention. If you don’t own an umbrella you are doomed when it rains.

Not only are you going to get soaked, but you have to dodge being poked in the eye by the thoughtless shits who posses them. And not just that…as if having an umbrella, that is three times their width isn’t enough to stop the rain from hitting their heads, they have to walk under the overhangs of buildings to stop their umbrellas getting wet too!

They walk blind holding the umbrella so low they can not see on coming human traffic (as they probably expect to bump umbrellas before poking your eye out!) and seem to charge headlong into anyone in the straight line they have forged into their brains!!

I wonder sometimes if when you buy an umbrella, you are offered lessons in how to be an arse! Maybe I’ll go and find out one day?

You are going to lose an eye for sure in this lot

Don’t Blink!

It’s Monday and I’m pacing the floor, drinking countless cups of tea which in turn is causing countless visits to the toilet. I occasionally sit at the computer and try to complete my placement journal which is due in on Wednesday! But it is impossible to concentrate, as I have other concerns on my mind at the moment.

By 10am I’ve put gloves on to stop me biting my nails, and pinned down the curtain net to discourage from pressing my nose up against the window for the fifth time in an hour. I have even moved the mobile phone into the kitchen so that I will stop holding it in my hand willing it to ring - I’m a nervous excited wreck!

So what’s the problem? Well I received an email last night from a stranger I haven’t seen in two months…you guessed it - Dan. He’s off the ship and winging his way back to the UK, this is fine, but when he gets to the UK will he be allowed through customs? His last entry was stamped with “Last time buddy!” and a mean frown from the customs officer, so he scrapped through by the skin of his teeth and I fear he will not be so lucky this time, and may end up in jail before flying out to New Zealand on Friday.

By 10:30 I’ve given up doing anything but sitting with Sarah on the sofa, starring at the television, without actually taking in what’s on, as my brain has switched off visual and is churning around in my thoughts now. Sarah is enjoying the cuddle though and has no idea I’m using her as a counterweight to stop me leaping up every time a car pulls up near our house, which is a few today as builders are erecting a house next door and moving around every few minutes!

Just then a silver car pulls up right outside the window and I can’t help but stretch my neck, although I don’t recognise the driver so slump back into the chair. Two minutes later a figure passes the lounge window and a knock on the door – Could it be? I remove Sarah from my lap, get up and head to the door at a skip. I open the door in haste and sure enough it’s Dan and he’s not being escorted by a police officer…bonus!

But it doesn’t last long and the 3 days we have fly past. Before we know, it’s Friday and Dan is on his way again – The house is quiet and the only evidence I have that he was even here is all his dirty washing!!!

Are you living in the Stone Ages?

It would appear I’m living in a box as I am the only person to not know what ‘Facebook’ is? Nearly every one I spoke to over the festive season asked if I had it and promptly sent me the web link.

So of course curiosity got the better of me and I soon found myself registering in and scanning this new feature. Within minutes of entering I was contacted by some old school mates, who soon got me looking for even older mates and lo and behold there they were – totally incredible like a school reunion of sorts.

Although with old school mates comes old school photos and I soon discovered a highly embarrassing photograph of my class when I was 9 or 10. Thankfully I have married since so hopefully anyone after my school days will not relate me to this bizarre looking child of 1990! It did make for a good laugh though and I must admit to tears rolling down my cheeks and a pain in my side from laughing so hard.

What a funny looking bunch

It’s not just old school mates though; a lot of newer mates, from former work places and even random circumstances have been found and added to the growing list of friends. Sooner or later you begin finding or being invited to take tests on very random subjects – I have so far been labelled the ‘drunk drunk’ in “What kind of drunk are you?” and ‘Bumblebee man’ in “Which obscure Simpsons character are you?”

It’s all quite amusing for a Facebook virgin like myself, but be careful it can also absorb all of your free time, as you find the hours ticking away then realise you haven’t done anything constructive!

So here I am taking a break from facebook writing my blog – Really constructive? Go me!

Happy New Year!

Better late than never!