To: FIDC Complaints Department

FIDC Complaints Department

Shackleton House

Stanley

Falkland Islands

22nd January 2007

Dear Sirs,

I have lived on these Islands for 4 hours and 26 minutes at a place called Beckside Farm. Being brought into this world by a complicated process involving grass, water and a cow, I appreciated from the start how difficult it is for a ‘longlife’ so wanted to achieve my UHT qualifications as soon as possible.

Being from a poor family of 100+ children I am unable to fund this myself and decided to hitch a ride into town and apply to you, the Falkland Islands Development Corporation, for a small loan.

Although upon arrival I discovered I was unable to open your door or ring the doorbell for attention. So I curdled up in the corner and waited for someone to pass, but alas no-one did.

I have attached a picture to prove my situation and would like to express my dissatisfaction to your entrance system. I will also be submitting a letter to the Penguin News on Milk Carton Discrimination in you company.

Yours Sadly

Semi-Skimmed 220107