The Short Story

After fighting with the computer and internet for so long I decided to merge the blogs I have typed into one, but even this was taking forever so here’s the really short version…

Note: I find it more amusing to use the Gordon Ramsay style (when he is showing you how to cook one of his recipes)

Big plane, flying, taking ages, tired, eating lots, drinking lots, peeing lots, poo everywhere! (Thanks Becky!!), smell unbearable, Half way stop (Ascension Island), dark, hot, sticky. Reload, sleep (well try to!) Flight finished - thank god! Knackered! Meet Dan, load car, go home. Arrive, unload, tea, shower, BED!

Check out house, check out car, get another car, drive, good fun, speeding a bit, speed camera, damn it!, no bill in post…Oh well?. Lost in ASDA, lost in Tesco, lost in Morrisons, no more superstores! See sights, scout area, pubs located, still knackered though!

Dan to Baku…gutted! Investigate area further. Find park, Find Pond, Find Swans, Feed swans* get bitten, curse swans, go home. Kids tired, long walk, need drink, hear tune, Ice Cream van! Walk faster, kids slow, find road, van gone, gutted again!

See butterfly, find shop, buy nets, hunt butterflies, get stung by nettles, miss butterfly, curse butterfly, curse nettles, go home.

Clean house, tea on step, fluffy tailed rat! (Managed to get this one posted)

Go to shops, get on bus, funny smell, old people, get off bus, funny smell gone? Walk down High Street, market day! Stalls everywhere, cheap tat, buy new purse, good cheap tat! McDonalds, 2 happy meals, one big mac, three cokes, hyper kids, walk home fast.

Marwell Zoological Park (Not a children’s nursery rhyme!)

Giraffes tall, warthogs small, leopards hide, buffalo wide, flamingo pink, skunks do stink! Tiger stripes, Bats no lights. Fish, snakes, a thousand ants, Becky nearly wets her pants.

Zebras fat, Monkeys smile, rain is heavy…wait a while. Train goes past, walking fast, lightening, thunder, tour down under. Skippy sleeping, parrots loud, time to push through this big crowd. Wom-bat, bouncing rat wish I’d brought a waterproof hat.

See more, Hippo snore, too many ga-zelles on this tour! On site shop, souvenirs, wish I didn’t bring kids in here! Cuddly toys, really tired, get into the car we’ve hired, long drive, motorway, home, tea, what a day!

Staunton Country Park (Not another children’s nursery rhyme!)

Food pellets, sheep and grass, do not feed the short fat Ass. Jacobs horns, Goose shit, watch the llamas ‘cause they spit! Fat Pigs, trees and twigs, chickens with some funny wigs, Big cock, don’t stop creepy turkey on that plot!

Red deer comes up close, goats balance on fence post. Shetland ponies, Shire horse, in a field full of gorse. Rabbit cages, cow pen, stop throwing pellets to the hens! Kids park, slides & frames; here comes the f***ing rain again! Small tower, barn owl, should have brought a bloody towel.

Birds of prey, flower beds, rain pouring on our heads. Pretty peacock makes a noise, another shop, kids want toys. Mad dash to the car, drive home, not too far, grumpy kids no toys for them, finally make it home again.

Dan back (with moustache) – LOL, Pick self up off floor and greet.

That’s about caught us up so hopefully I will be able to post further longer blogs about events.

*(3 weeks later – Sign “Don’t feed swans too much algae”!)