Wind Farms

Recently the Falkland Islands have been taking huge leaps in development, with the introduction of three massive wind turbines, on their wind swept grasslands, near the local Abattoir.*

While chatting with my parents the other night they happened to comment on how bad the weather has been lately. It’s supposed to be summer there now, but they have experienced everything from wind, rain and even snow! Just like here then, but we are approaching winter! Mum even went as far to say that she has never encountered this much wind at this time of year before. It was at that moment it struck me! Is it just a coincidence that it has been especially windy since the wind turbines were installed?

It would be interesting to get some statistics from the Met Office to see if my theory is correct? If so the Islands should start using this extra wind to their advantage. They could bottle the fresh air up, label it “SWEET FA” and sell it off to the smog filled cities around the world. (I’d like to stamp a copyright on this idea before anyone starts making any real money from it too!)

I recall a few stories when these massive structures were first being suggested to the islanders, and the various comments in the weekly paper that followed.

How would the sheep feel about eating in a field with a massive propeller whizzing and buzzing above there heads – How would they sleep at night with the noise? They will be scared and therefore traumatised before going into the abattoir, which will lead to meat being tougher – Somehow I think the fact sheep dying in front of them is the only trauma they are going to encounter before getting zapped themselves, not the piece of metal taking up good grazing!

Would Police be spending more time piecing together bits of geese that had mysteriously begun splattering the fields around the abattoir to determine the cause of death?

MOD Tornados now have another object to miss, unless they are trying to get points for hitting aerials? (About a year ago there was an encounter when, while buzzing the town one of the tornados clipped a television aerial on a small hill. Locals were fuming when they missed Eastenders that night!)

And men may become balder? If they already have weak hair follicles they will struggle to remain embedded in the scalp, which (if caught in time) could be another little money earner…making wigs – otherwise a hat shop might be a good addition to town?

And hey if none of these ideas take off I suppose they could set-up sheep psychology sessions?

* These are not the first wind turbines in the Islands - they have been introducing smaller wind turbines to farms for a few years now.