Happy Valentines...sorry it's late!

Are you bitter that you weren’t surprised by a romantic meal, a beautiful bouquet of red roses, or even just an anonymous card in the mail this valentines?

Before you get upset dwelling on this thought let me try and ease your mind…The meal would have ended with a big rich chocolate pudding so you can almost guarantee having shits in the morning, the flowers would eventually wilt and the card will most likely be from someone you would prefer NOT to fancy you. So be thankful that you got nothing and know in you mind that someone does love you - your cat!

Mount Maria Is Active!

For years the people of Maria lived happily in the knowledge that Mount Maria would only erupt mildly every second day. This was no big deal to the people as their goddess would lend a hand (pun intended) in clearing up the mess and there were no casualties. (Expect for one young hooligan who, while showing off to a potential mate, strayed too close to the entrance and was overcome by an unexpected gas leak)

Occasionally the people knew they had angered the goddess, as she would eat numerous chickens in a fiery yellow/brown substance. They knew from past experiences this was going to eventually cause a large, gaseous eruption from Mount Maria, but it was only a day of poisonous gases and the people were fully prepared for it.

One night the people felt tremors coming from the depths of Maria. They did not worry though as they knew they had not angered the goddess recently and she had not, to their knowledge, taken in any unusual substances. All evening the goddess was restless and the people began to worry, by morning they feared the worst.

The goddess arose as normal and seemed to be over last night’s episode. However a few more minutes revealed otherwise. Mount Maria rumbled with more force than had ever been experienced. The people only began to panic when their goddess did not walk in her usual manner, but ran, for her white throne.

She quickly revealed the throne to the people and let the fury of Mount Maria spill in one massive explosion…Boom!

And that was the end of the people of Mount Maria.