Another Blog

For some reason I had the idea that starting another blog about being an immature mature student would be a good idea, even though I haven't kept ths one up-to-date?

Oh well (shoulder shrug) here's the link...

http://immaturematurestudent.blogspot.com/

My middle chicken has pox!

See...

Although she calls it chicken pops. Get well soon Bex xx

I think I prefer snoring!

One morning I awoke to an uncomfortable wet feeling around my back. I sat up horrified, thinking I must have pissed myself whilst asleep! Quickly leaping out of bed, I muttered to myself and removed my wet clothes. As I did Dan appeared from the en-suite giggling so I started feeling really embarrassed and began trying to explain, when he piped up “It was me!” followed by hysterics.

It turned out he was having one of those dreams about peeing and then awoke to find he was not peeing in the toilet as his dream portrayed, but still lying in bed, pushed up to my back and wetting himself!

After being slightly miffed that he was going to let me take the blame, and for peeing on me! I decided that revenge would be sweeter posting his accident on here!

Appointments

Bubble Brain.

I went to college as usual today, fairly nervous since I was under the impression I had a presentation to well...present! I thought maybe I could miss it in the knowledge I had to leave early today for an opticians appointment.

It turns out we didn’t have to actually present the posters, as the class just assessed it themselves and completed a form for the tutor, so after that was done we continued with the lesson. While the tutor rattled on about inheritance I continually watched the clock. Eventually she said we could go for a break, so I took my chance and asked to be excused for the rest of the lesson to attend an appointment. (Of course I didn’t tell her it was an optician’s appointment as that just sounds like a lame excuse to get away from class!).

I merrily drove back to Gosport, parked up in the car park and wandered off down the high street. The time was mid day and my appointment wasn’t until 12:25 so I popped into Costa Coffee for a Caramel Latte and Chocolate Muffin (just to add to the already huge arse!).

Fifteen minutes later I wandered back down the High street and into the opticians. I sat and waited while the man served an older gentleman. I gazed around the room, trying not to listen to the sales man telling the older gentleman that he has big ears but nowhere to hold his glasses...honestly!

To distract me bursting into laughter which would prove I was ear wigging, I decided to pull out my appointment card and look over it. As I opened the little blue booklet I read down the information which read Mrs Loveridge, 12:25 on 3rd April 2009.

I placed the card back in my bag, got up, walked out and back down the high street to the car.
My appointment wasn’t until next week!!!!

Another similar incident occurred on Tuesday when I went to attend a parents’ evening at Katie’s school only to be told it wasn’t this Tuesday it is next Tuesday...Twice in one week is not a good sign!!

Forget air miles...I want to claim Land Miles!

My arse has barely left the driving seat of the Ford Mondeo these last few weeks* – Not because I’m a lazy shit, but because I’ve been travelling all over the country to check out possible Universities for September.

Three weeks ago I drove 266 miles to and from Canterbury Christ Church University for an Open Day. Two weeks ago I drove 146 miles to and from Oxford Brookes for a Visit Day, and last week I drove 240 miles back to Kent to visit Kent University for another Open day. I could at this point bore you to tears about the ins and outs of the trips, but it really wasn’t that exciting and I have forgotten most of the conversions with myself (and one sided conversations with other motorists), the car and the radio. Plus I didn’t get lost once, which really surprised me!

I still have two more Universities to visit, Portsmouth and Brighton. The later I’m not really bothered with, after a rather horrific day in the City (which can be backed up by Mum); I’m not sure why I choose it at all really? I am however looking forward to visiting Portsmouth as it turns out a friend from college is doing the same course and we have a good laugh normally so that could be fun.

Meanwhile the college have been bombarding me (and the rest of the students of course) with exams and coursework. Last week I had to content with a Chemistry exam on everything we had (supposedly) learned over the last two terms, this being enthalpy, order of reactions, Equilibrium, bonding, and calculating the number of moles in a compound and solution just to name a few. I managed to pass with 53%, which is apparently a high C...go figure? Not that I should be complaining since it helped me pass. The tutor commented on my paper saying he was expecting a higher grade. I felt a quite disappointed at myself at that point until he said “You answered all the harder questions correct, but got the easier ones wrong!” I wasn’t disappointed anymore, just kicking myself for stupid mistakes! (Mental note – never correct your first instinct answers as they will most likely be correct!)

This week I have been creating a model of a DNA strand in the thought that I would be presenting it to the class in an assessed oral exam. It turns out they just get a piece of paper and mark you on what they think – this could have proved a problem for me as I just scribbled notes for the speech on the board and didn’t take it too seriously: for instance I drew a picture of a pair of Jeans to represent Genes, an arrow pointing to the plinth holding the model saying “Wood” and a small note at the bottom of the page saying “Don’t forget – Easter holidays 3rd -17th April”. The class found it amusing but I’m not sure what the tutor will make of it?

And that’s about it in a nutshell so far...no doubt there will be humorous bus antics to follow after the Portsmouth university visit day – I actually miss that now I can drive to college

*And it’s beginning to show having split my pants while bending over to put some cookies in the oven the other night!!

Let's go to Tesco

Having eaten everything edible in the house, and with news of another snow storm looming we decided to go to Tesco tonight to stock up on supplies. It was the usual trip to the shop, taking every side road to avoid rush hour traffic coming out of the only two roads in Gosport!

We leisurely strolled around the store until our trolley was just about overflowing with food and then made our way to the check-out. While Dan and the girls unloaded I chatted to the cashier and filled the bags. Finally the last item went “Beep” and the cashier asked for my club card. I opened my purse and immediately noticed my card was missing. Oh no I gasped. It not only turned out I had forgotten my club card, but it would also appear I had neglected to return my debit card back to my purse after using it last night.

I smiled it off as I realised I had my Credit card with me and quickly handed it over to the cashier. It was then she asked for my pin...”Errrr – Shit...I can’t remember!” My face began to turn a bright shade of red, as I noticed the queue behind me building. “I think it’s...” as I pressed some random numbers into the machine. “Can I not just sign for it?” I asked with a slight plead in my voice. “No sorry ma’am we require your pin”. So I stood for another minute desperately looking towards Dan for any ideas, but it was no good I couldn’t even begin to think what it was, and especially not under pressure. Another employee came over and wheeled off our goods and handed us a ticket to come and collect it all when we had a form of payment.

We headed off a highly embarrassed and very angry at myself for not checking before we left. We hopped back into the car and began the half hour journey back home. On the way we came across a fuel station with a cash machine as I had been thinking about the number and thought I had remembered it. I placed the card into the ATM and proceeded to enter the sequence of numbers. This was rejected, so I tried again with a slightly different arrangement. At this moment a grinding noise started up and I thought “Yes – It’s going to work” as a receipt pops out. I stand waiting for the card for a minute, then grab the receipt and look at it to which it read “Your card has been retained, please contact your card supplier”.

Completely outraged I stormed back to the car, landing heavily on the seat and said “Lets go” I turned to the ATM yelling “Keep it! - There’s no fucking money in there anyway!” We eventually got home, grabbed my debit card and drove back to Tesco (another half hour), picked up our shopping and arrived home, two hours later than anticipated.
Oh what fun!!

Moving House - Episode Two

Four simple steps for a sofa.

Where's the fun in going into a shop, picking out a sofa and getting it delivered within the week fully built and ready to sit on.

We always have to do things slightly different to others and because of this we bought a Nabru sofa. Check out their website www.nabru.co.uk it's great. You measure your room and get a sofa to fill the space. Then you can choose it in the fabric and colour of your choice and after a bit of research it has worked out cheaper too!

Step One = Don't get crushed by a pallet of flat pack sofa

Step Two - Work out the 3-D jigsaw puzzle of sofa pieces.

Step Three - Supply this monkey with tea and he will work all day.

Step Four - The end! (Note the coffee table is still a cardboard box with a table cloth to disguise it!)

Hot Wheels

We’ve bought a car...she's called "Casey"

Moving House – Episode one

To anyone I haven’t informed yet - We’ve moved!!

Unfortunately it’s not into our own house, which we had lined up to purchase and renovate - It is another rental property. However, it has four bedrooms (compared to two in Fig Tree Cottage) a good sized lounge/study and kitchen/dining. It also has three toilets , which is great but proved a problem at first, because you find yourself standing crossed legged on the landing trying to decide which toilet you want to use today. And the best part...a garage!

The only other problem was it’s completely unfurnished (bar white goods), which is great as we want to start accumulating our own furniture, but when we unpacked our last box from Fig Tree Cottage we suddenly realised how little we actually own up here.

After moving in on Boxing day (not recommended! – And only because I couldn’t be arsed taking down the Christmas tree and putting it up again in the new house) we spent the rest of the Christmas holidays shopping...awesome!
Strangely I haven’t taken a picture of the outside yet, but “Here’s one I made earlier” and a few interior photos.

Looking down the stairs from the top story - Every room is on a half level, which is kind of cool, but does mean 47 steps from bottom to top!!

Looking back to the lounge from the study - It looks small but it goes around the corner.


Becky and Sarah's room at the top


Spare/Toy/Junk room

Kate's room

We are sleeping on a mattress on the floor too!

I'm back!

I know, I know...it’s been ages since I last posted a blog, however it’s not because I’ve lost interest in my website or because I’m too lazy to write (possibly debatable?). In fact we have been so caught up in everything around us that blogging has taken a back burner, as more often than not I either can’t get to the computer, we have no internet connection or just don’t have the time. The later being the main reason.

But I mean to make amends, however rather than boring you all to death with a sixteen page essay on my life in the last six months I’m going to break it down in to short – exciting happenings. (Well exciting for me anyway!)

So here goes...

I’m a “mature” student not an old student - damn you pesky kids!

There’s a tingling in my stomach, I don’t feel hungry, but I’m starving, and I have lost count of the number of times I’ve visited the toilet! From this you would probably assume I was ill. But, I am in fact preparing myself for an Open day at Winchester University. And it’s a mix of nerves and excitement overwhelming me that is also making me pick up a pen to put in my pencil case knowing full well that there are 5 in there already. So after bidding farewell to Dan and the girls I merrily skipped out the front gate and off down the street.

The trip itself went like clockwork and I gave myself a pat on the back for arriving at Gosport ferry just in time to step aboard as she set sail for Portsmouth dock, followed by arriving at Portsmouth train station 15 minutes before my train departed. I tried to psychically thank the train driver too when we arrived 30 minutes early for my meeting at Winchester. As I disembarked the train though I discovered my printed directions were useless in reality, so I began walking in the general direction of the University, cleverly using the sun and the rail way line to navigate. My theory was as long as I don’t cross it I will eventually stumble across the Uni. (Assuming I was on the correct side already of course). As I picked up a steady pace I noticed a group always one road ahead of me, until I reached a dead end. The options from here were to go through a cemetery or up a steep curved hill and unfortunately the group I seemed to be following had disappeared, so I turned right and began the climb. Yep I’m a chicken and would endure any Mount Everest over walking through a grave yard – even in daylight!

Just as my legs were cursing me for being such a chicken I caught sight of the group half way up the hill. They had stopped and were looking around like a family of Meerkats looking for danger. I quickly caught them up and discovered they too were lost looking for the Uni. For some reason, maybe so they wouldn’t think I had been following them or had chickened out of going through the grave yard, I said I knew the way. What was I thinking!? I’m going off my instinct, which has nearly always taken me miles in the wrong direction in the past. To save myself even more embarrassment I quickly offered to go on ahead of the group and let them know when (if) I found the Uni. I began the climb again, kicking myself, especially when I reached the summit and could only see a Prison and a Hospital! Turning left I started to think about how mad these people would be when I had led them miles away from the Uni. And worse still my weary legs were screaming that they would not be able to run from a beating. Thankfully not far up the road I spotted the lovely blue sign of “Winchester University West Downs Campus” Phew! My legs and pride were spared this time. I waved back to the group like an excited explorer having just discovered the treasure, and they waved back in appreciation, then I quickly shot down the road and into the campus to get lost in the crowds.

After the introductory speech I found myself in a group of 12 people and noticed all were teenagers being escorted by one or both of their parents. I took solace in walking alongside the guide and chatting about her course, which coincidently was the same course I was hoping to study. During the tour the rest of the group didn’t utter a word and marched around like robots. I decided to ask questions about the accommodation, even though I wouldn’t be using it, just so the guide didn’t feel obsolete, which I think she appreciated.

Thankfully I managed to lose this bunch of robots at the shuttle buses to the Kind Alfred Campus, but it was short lived as I was grouped together with a different bunch of robots and their robot parents at the other end! More tours of the campus followed and yet again I found myself asking the most questions. Eventually I arrived back at the Stripe for a lecture on my course and picked up a rainforest’s worth of leaflets and booklets. On my way out of the building I also scored myself a Winchester University pen to accompany the bag, books and now leaflets I had collected along the way.

I walked out the door of the Stripe, cup of tea in one hand and a chocolate muffin in the other and started my journey back home. On the way back to the train station, via the town centre (done deliberately- not getting lost and stumbling across it accidently...honest!) I noticed Winchester University signs pointing back in the direction I had come and kicked myself for not spotting these earlier in the day! But I chuckled to myself and walked on – It wouldn’t have been fun if I hadn’t made an arse of myself in some way. I reminisced over my day and in between snoozing on the train I thought about the next challenge ahead of me. I need to write an outstanding Personal Statement if I want to stand any chance of getting into this great Uni. And if I manage it I will of course post it on here so you can have a good laugh at me trying to big myself up.

Another Catch Up

Yet again I find myself apologising to an invisible audience - Oh well – Sorry!

It’s been non-stop for the last couple of months which appears to be the norm in my life at the moment. And because of this I’m not even sure where to start, but here goes...

Working at the Primary School

Week 1 – An awkward start. The first day was strange. I found myself a good spot across the room from the teacher, as she asked, and leaned against a cabinet. I began scanning the room, trying to psychoanalyse the children in front of me with one question at the top of my mind...who was good and who was bad. Soon I found myself wandering back and forth across the room telling children to stop swinging on their chairs, or fiddling with their pencil case, which made too much noise while the teacher, was trying to do the register. As well as noting who says “Yes miss” as she calls out their names so I can also make a mental note for future reference.

While I am perched on my cabinet, I notice sideways glances being fired my way and realised the children are also trying to psychoanalyse...myself and the teacher. You could almost feel the blue ray (like Eve in Wall-E as she searches for plant life) as they scan you up and down trying to figure out if we are humans or robots and if we will be nice or nasty teachers. I would hope I was firm but fair, but I guess only time will tell.

The day went as well as could be expected with two completely new staff, not entirely sure of this school’s system, or what level each child is at on each subject, let alone their names! For a while I decided to call all of them ‘Bob’ or for the girls ‘Bobette’ to make my life easier. The only problem is when you ask bob to go and grab and pencil sharpener all the boys at the table leap up. So I’m going to have to learn names I guess!

By the end of the week I have mastered most names, began filling our display boards and made myself useful with the photocopier, guillotine and stapler – all great fun!

Week 2 – Finding our feet. The teacher had been busy over the weekend and seems to have found her feet now, as she approached me on Monday morning with a timetable of what I could do each day Super! So now I have a structured week:

Mornings – Reading with individual children, and assisting different groups with Maths and Literacy

Afternoon – Handwriting skills - This is proving a lesson for myself as well as the children, since I gave up trying to join my writing way back in Secondary school.* And assisting with whatever lesson we have that day.

Week 3 – The children’s revenge. It would appear the honeymoon period is over. This week at least three have been trying to wind me up, by constantly swinging on their chair, not doing as they were asked and generally making a nuisance of themselves in the classroom. But I still go home on Friday with a smile on my face – I must be out of my mind!

Week 4 – The dreaded school trip. A day out should be a refreshing change from the classroom for the children and the teachers, but unfortunately this day was bad from the start. Firstly I had to have my photograph taken! (Not a great disaster you may think, but just you wait – I may scare you all by posting it on here! Then the bus ride to the site was so noisy a headache was beginning to form and for some reason my mind had been erased of all tunes and other forms of bus entertainment to calm them down. We got lost on the way. Our groups went wild at the first site, and I spent most of it escorting a certain delightful child around, until they were eventually taken back to the school. And finally we were had up by a busy body off duty police officer for apparently having some form of abuse made at her from our bus! All oblivious to me as even though they were at the back I never heard any abuse being uttered. On a positive note it was actually a fantastic day out, our groups were super during the second half of the day (maybe because of the troublesome child been removed?) and I went home with a smile on my face even when I arrived two hours later than normal, and feeling completely shattered.

The issue with the police officer was resolved the next day. Although as far as I was concerned she misconceived what had been said (if anything) and is just one of those people who let power go to their heads! Maybe she hates all children too?

Week 5 – Artists at the ready. A surprising change to the time table occurred this week. Instead of a lesson in Tudor History we were to be designing Christmas cards. The only problem I have is it’s only October! There is nothing worse than being reminding how long it is to Christmas.

While the teacher read the register out and relayed today’s tasks to the children I quickly sketched one Christmas scene and using a tray of shapes constructed another, for the not so artistic children, to inspire them to produce something fantastic for their own cards. I handed my rough works of art to the teacher, who responded fanatically about them and quickly held up the work for the children to see and then went on to say “You are in charge of all art work from now!” I just gulped and smiled a nervous smile back at her.

Here's one I made earlier.

Back to college

After being fairly disappointed that I couldn’t attend college again this year because it would clash with work, I was elated to find out I could actually go back again this year if I wanted to, However it would mean attending evening classes, unfortunately they finish at 9:30pm! Another shocking discovery, as I collected my work from last year, was if I didn’t complete the access course this year I will lose the credits earned from last year. So after some panic thinking and a bit of organising I have been able to be excused from work on Monday’s to allow me to attend Chemistry lessons. And I’m still working on a plan to attend Biology 2 and Sociology classes in January.

I’m now in the process of writing a Personal Statement, which I should add is bloody difficult, especially if you are like me and have trouble bragging about how wonder you are. As well as attending a few University Open Days, which should make me feel like a right old fart amongst all those teenagers...great!

Houses

After a long wait for paperwork (not the buyers fault!) we have finally signed away our house in the Falklands. It was a strange moment for us, as we weren’t sure whether to be saddened by selling our house, knowing when we return to the Falklands it would no longer be there waiting for us. Or elated that we can finally get on with proceedings here and begin renovating and modernising our next home. Either way the moment called for a drink and since we have no beer in the house at the moment (shocking I know!) we clinked cups of hot chocolate and celebrated.
I am planning on keeping a well documented log of our work on this house to keep for future projects and to boost moral when we are sick and tired of renovating. So hopefully I will be able to find some time to upload it onto my blog...don’t hold your breath though!

Family

Rather than go into great detail of what we got up to while my parents were here I will just say we all had a fantastic time (Bar the weather...Aye granddad?). The illegal alien has been home for a while which is a pleasant change and the girls are slotting back into the school routine easily again. Katie is in year 1 and it shows when she hands me A4 pages of writing trying to describe her pictures. Becky is a little bored with another year in Pre-school and constantly asks when she can go to Katie’s school. And the baby, or not so anymore, Sarah is starting Pre-School from December this year!

I wonder sometimes though if Dan feels a bit left out with all of his girls going to school and learning, while he still awaits a miracle to get him into college and finally earn that Officer of the Watch ticket.

And that’s it so far. I can’t promise anything, but I will attempt to keep you more updated from now.

*I actually remember the day my handwriting went from drunken spider in the ink pot to beautifully clear letters. It was our first Geography lesson and the teacher was (how can put this?) very easy on the eyes! His handwriting was also beautiful and that was it for me – I was converted – shallow or what!

Catch-up

An apology again for very few (not very entertaining) blogs but my life is running away as fast as an Ethiopian Olympic Long Distance runner. The posts from the past are gone I’m afraid. As...clever me...accidently tipped a hot cup of tea, complete with one sugar for added stickiness, over my computer and it is now in the morgue awaiting an organ transplant to my new laptop. I’m hoping to recover most of the data on the hard drive but feel it is all but gone. Anyway now I have this new machine and can take it to bed (I’m not a geek it’s the only quiet time I get!) without leads trailing everywhere I think I may be able to churn out a few more updates more frequently.

I left you at having passed my first lot of Access grades. I have since scored myself a job as a Learning support assistant, after three separate interviews at different schools. I will be working 25 hours a week with the year 6 teacher. The students are aged between 10-11, which is a nice age before they hit puberty and think they rule the world! To say I’m excited about this job would be a serious understatement as I have been bouncing off the walls ever since the phone call from the head teacher and now I’m champing at the bit to get started. Unfortunately I got the job at the end of July, which is the end of term and will be starting in the new term (September 08). The only down side is I won’t be able to attend college this year as my employment clashes with the course times, but the school are keen to train their staff so I will be pushing forward as much as I can. The work based experience is a highly crucial part of the degree anyway so I would rather have that at the moment.

Other interesting events have been the start-up of Workboat services Ltd (check out the website for more details www.workboat.co.fk) Dan nipped down to the Falklands to assist with the initial start-up period for the Concordia bay arriving in the Islands. I personally think it was an excuse to just stroke and snuggle his hunk of steel, but he will never tell J After a few minor problems I believe everything is working well now and the Concordia Bay is settling in well to her new home.

When Dan returned from his brief Falkland trip we had a frantic week of re-organising and cleaning the house before my parents arrived. They are now here on a 6 week holiday and having a great time as far as I’m aware. The kids leaping on them in the morning is probably wearing thin by now though. The best part about them being here (apart from seeing them again of course) is all the cool gadgets they buy and test in the house – It’s going to be bare when they leave that’s for sure!

And finally probably the most exciting piece of news of all is we have sold our house in the Falklands and are in the process of buying a run-down detached cottage (a rarity in the UK...believe me!) here in Gosport. I’ve lost count of the number of times Dan and I have been to the house, tape measures in hand, and studied every element of the place. The very first day we braved a call to the estate agents for our first look inside we were almost wetting ourselves with excitement at the potential of the place. We laughed when we got back home and realised both of us had mentally knocked down walls, replaced doors and furnished it before even making an offer on the place. The ear to ear smiles and rapid heart beating in our chests has been going for three weeks now and I’m convinced we will go to cardiac arrest when we are handed over the keys. We are simple souls and delight in seeing even the tiniest thing like the “Sale Agreed” sign going up across the For Sale sign outside the house. Now to get the small mortgage, finalise the sale of 11 Short Street (which I should add has gone to a really nice family so we are happy there too) and get cracking on some renovation!*

And that’s about it in a nutshell – my whirlwind life in five paragraphs. Doesn’t seem like much now I suppose, but don’t forget we are juggling three little monkeys in amongst this lot! That reminds me I must order the ‘Kids Tool Kits’ for Christmas.

*P.S If anyone fancies coming and helping with renovations then sign up to www.Dan-and-Marie-are-mad.co.uk We will supply food, beer and a sleeping bag in amongst the rubble for free labour.

Results

An ominous brown envelope arrives in the mail box with Highbury College clearly stamped across the top. “Oh my god my results are here” I say as I gulp. I turn it over in shaky hands and begin to tear open the top, wondering if it is nerves or excitement making my heart pound in my chest. An A4 sheet of paper slides easily from the package to reveal writing across its face. I take a deep breath while my brain takes in the information before me and I begin to analyse the table revealing: English for Education and Teaching, B, Biology, A, Total credits 11. “YES!” I yell making the girls leap a little. I give them a huge squeeze and start leaping around the kitchen as they watch with confused faces. “It’s ok girls mum hasn’t gone mad I’m just extremely happy” I reassure them

Roll on September!!

End of College

Wednesday 4th June

The English for teaching and education lesson was like any other, beginning with education topics discussions, followed by a comprehension assessment and the last of the oral presentations. At the end of the lesson the tutor thanked us for a great year and even went as far to say we were the best class she had ever had. (Awe shucks I bet you say that to all your classes I thought as I smiled an embarrassed yet proud smile), we proceeded to thank the tutor and that was it!

Everyone took twice as long to pack away their things as we analysed the reality that this really was the last Wednesday we would be coming into college. Most just waved a goodbye as they walked out of the door knowing they had the addresses of the people they wanted to stay in contact with and possibly concealing any sadness that may be welling up inside them, or that they would see each other again in another last lesson later in the week.

I sat for a moment taking it all in too and wasn’t sure whether to be saddened by this event or elated it was over. I have after all just completed my first year of college and was one year closer to becoming a Primary Teacher! I bid farewell to one of my closest friends in this class, making sure she had my details and I had hers and wished her well for University, as she will not be returning next year. I quickly put on my dark glasses and strolled off to catch the bus for my last Wednesday bus antics…sigh!

Friday 6th June

The last lesson of Biology was much like any other too. Again we thanked the tutor and she thanked us and once more mixed emotions filled me. There was more sadness this time as we are a small class of only 5 and had become like a family. We wouldn’t see Oli again as he was heading of to a Welsh University (of course we took this piss out of him having a vast choice of woolly girlfriends, which he took well and even chuckled at the “Baaa-bara” comment – not one of my better jokes I must admit).

We wished Lee well in his adventures too and good luck with his task of masturbating while standing on his head (it’s a long strange story that I won’t go into, as I’m not entirely sure how the conversation got there anyway. Let’s just say the boy has strange ideas about the world anyway. For instance, during our last tea break In the student canteen we noticed a sign saying “free cut and blow dry” We all laughed as the boys said they would definitely go for a free hair cut if it came with a blow…job. As we left the canteen chuckling Lee then continued to say with a huge smile across his face “Wow! Imagine how much money you could make with a free haircut and blow jobs!” Of course we were in hysterics after that and quickly pointing out you can’t make any money if it’s free! He tried to side step his mistake, but it was too late.

At the end of the lesson everyone exchanged facebook details (I guess it does have its uses) and that was it…again! I ambled, with my head low, along my usual path towards the bus stop, reminiscing over a great year at college and before I knew it a huge smile had appeared across my face. “Yeah it really was a great year” I thought “And I can’t wait to come back in September!” At the bus stop the smile was so huge people were leaning away from me and deliberately trying to not make eye contact, as if I were some kind of mental patient who had strayed from the asylum. I found this highly amusing and played on it a little more by talking and chuckling to myself.

As I entered the house, having picked up the girls from the childminders, I flicked the kettle on for a much needed cup of tea and began to wonder about which courses to take next year and then it occurred to me – I have a nail biting 5 weeks to wait for my results! God I hope I’ve passed!

Facebook

"Have you been poked yet?" I certainly haven't for a while!!

I’ve been registered with facebook for six months now and don’t believe I have ever encountered such a poor waste of time in my life! So why am I spending so much time on the damn thing!?

I suppose facebook is good for catching up with former classmates and friends, and grouping all your acquaintances in one area, but isn’t that what an address book is for? I’m actually beginning to wonder if people have forgotten how to use a pen and paper as emails quickly eradicate letters too. Don’t get me wrong I love technology (except when it breaks!), but I’m also a traditional girl and like nothing more than checking the mailbox to find letters from friends and family. I think there is something a little more personal in a hand written letter and besides…I enjoy the challenge of deciphering bad handwriting.

I now have over 150 acquaintances which’s nice as I didn’t realise just how many people I know or know me (I wonder how many acquaintances it takes before you become infamous?) But with lots of friends in your contacts come lots of invites for strange and pointless games, and gifts of hugs, kisses, pets and flowers!

I’ll admit I own a “Lil green patch” and am supposedly saving acres of rainforest. Although how this works is a mystery to me and I wander off in a fantasy of 300 year old trees in the Brazilian rainforest tapping into the internet inviting their friends in the Malaysian Jungle to join them in brain battle or Mob wars. The later being another pointless game I have been lured into like a moth to a flame. For some reason I find myself checking my character ‘Strawberry Bond’s progress, counting my virtual millions, driving around in my virtual armoured range rover and purchase an array of weapons in preparation of another assault on the jewellery shop.

Recently I have been finding myself aimlessly clicking the mouse 30 times a day as I watch a virtual slot machine spin to hopefully win me virtual money which I can later spend in the virtual shop on virtually pointless crap! But yet each day I continue to enter this game and willingly click the button…is that an addiction or a compulsive disorder? Thankfully it’s not real money I suppose!

Most recently though I have found a game called ‘draw and guess’. It’s basically Pictionary on the internet, but I guess they couldn’t get the rights to use the name. You get a word and have to draw it for everyone to guess to win points. Then everyone else gets a turn to draw and you just have to guess as quickly as possible to gain more points before the time runs out. It’s another addiction I’m afraid, and has become worse still now that I have won two games!

And on that note…I’m wasting valuable ‘time wasting’ time writing this when I could be guessing squiggles, virtual drug dealing and bank robberies or sitting in virtual Las Vegas at the slot machines!!

TTFN

Katiehopper

In true Blue Peter style “Here’s one I made earlier”….5:30 in the morning earlier!

I’m a bad mother and very nearly forgot to make Katie a costume for “The ugly bug ball” they were having at school one day. There was no excuse, I had seen the invite in Katie’s bag two weeks ago. But it wasn’t until Katie kindly reminded me the night before, that I sighed “oh bollocks!” and then spent the whole night tossing and turning in bed fretting about having not made anything, and how she would feel being the only child at school with no costume. So in the end I had to get up do something about it.

I tip-toed like a baby elephant down the creaky stairs,* gathered up some materials and set to work on a master piece. I actually surprised myself with the result – It’s amazing what you can do with a bit of brown paper, a newspaper, a paper plate**, some green clothes and some green paint!

When Katie woke later in the morning she was delighted and couldn’t get into the costume fast enough. Sarah on the other hand was terrified of the grasshopper shaped Katie in the kitchen...and so…the mask stayed off until we reached school.

As all the children gathered in their costumes at the school entrance I smiled with relief as Katie’s was by far one of the better ones there and I’m not just being biased! After waving her off and dropping Becky to Pre-School I went home and crawled back to bed…yawn!

* I sometimes wonder why I bother trying to creep around this old house when I make just as much noise when walking normally!

**Lucky for us it wasn’t raining that day or there would have been a green paper machete Katie turning up to school instead!

Melt Down

SORRY!

But I can't respond to any emails today. Something has crashed on my computer and the mouse is missing.

It was a day like any other day; I had dropped the girls off at school, come home, made a cup of tea, and sat down in front of the computer to check the emails and latest news events. Five minutes into a web search and POP! There was an eerie silence where the whirling of the computer’s fan had once been and I was starring mid sip into a black screen.

I slowly set down my tea thinking “That’s odd?” but brushed it off as an odd occurrence and reached down to switch on the computer again.

Later in the day I continued working on my assignment and had just finished checking the spelling and grammar of page 3 of 5 when POP! That awful silence fell over the room again, and it wasn’t until what felt like minutes that I finally shook myself out of astonishment and disbelief and groaned a painful “NOOOOO!” Before hurriedly leaning down and switching on the computer yet again!

“Please no, please don’t do this to me!” I whispered to the thing as if it were living, and may just laugh off this mean joke and start up again giving me my coursework right where I had been interrupted. But alas it was not to be and not even auto recovery could bring back my hours work! In frustrating I stormed out of the lounge and into the kitchen to make another cup of tea and sulk.

Eventually I stopped sulking and started again, only for the computer to go POP! Once more! This time I had saved 2 minutes before it had crashed so the pain of re-writing everything wasn’t so harsh. But this battle went on for some time, until I eventually finished my work 5 hours longer than expected and gently tapped the computer with my foot in a “Hah I did it anyway you piece of S**t!”

I opened Outlook express and composed a new message in preparation of emailing my assignment to my tutor and guess what…POP! That was it...the final straw! My calm nature was turning into an incredible hulk persona and I was only moments away from turning into the green raging giant! The computer obviously sensed my temper and choose not to start at all this time. That way saving itself from a beating next time it crashed on me.

It wasn’t until two weeks later when Dan arrived back home and dissected the computer that he discovered the cause of the sudden crashes…DUST! Of all the stupid things to be it was dust…it could have been a melted wire or something more meaningful but no, dust in the fan was overheating the system and causing it to crash. I should be thankful I suppose that it wasn’t something more serious, but I suppose I was still angry and ready to throw the damn thing on the tip!

So eventually I was back online and saved all my coursework to a USB stick just in case. Surprisingly it’s still alive! Unsurprisingly I have been reluctant to spend any length of time on it in the last month for fear of it picking on me again. And I have only just braved a post today which has gone without a hitch...yay!

So apologies folks, but fingers crossed the computer will stay alive and I will be able to update you on the last two months (in no particular order) as soon as possible.

The Rake

This was sent to me by email (thanks Michelle) and I just had to share it with you since I am still wiping the tears of laughter away now!

Enjoy!

http://www.smwa.net/downloads/funny/rake_bush4.swf

Freak Weather

Saturday was such a lovely day we decided to have lunch alfresco on the lawn. We soaked up the sun and thought about the lovely summer ahead of us.

Three stages of leaves growing back on the trees

So you can imagine our surprise to wake this morning to this...

We couldn't get our coats, boots, gloves and scarfs on fast enough to get out the door and play in the snow though!